But sometimes there's a pressure front so bad that I just have to lay in bed and cry. Not more than a few times a year, but damn it blindsides me every time.

Some services like MTM and Modivcare have a program that offers reimbursement for your gas! You call that same number, ask for “something else” to talk to a human, ask to set up gas mileage reimbursement, follow the agent’s instructions. You will receive a rechargeable visa card in the mail, the company will send you money through that card to fill up your car for trips after you schedule - the amount of money you get is dependent on how many miles you’re traveling for your appointment. You can call the transportation number on the back of your insurance card (or use the app) to set up a trip. You’ll receive the money usually within a few hours. You don’t have to use this money for gas!! You can use it to buy groceries, toiletries, clothes, and pretty much anything! Try to refrain from using it to buy alcohol or nicotine products, I’m not sure if that’s against the rules or not but better safe than sorry! Use the app to click the “I’m leaving” button when you leave and “I’m here” button when you arrive, make sure you’re close enough to the building when you click the button. If you don’t use the app you can instead use a Trip Log that you fill out and send to your company in the mail, it has to be signed by your doctor to receive the money.

If someone did manage to fake a complex condition for a lengthy period of time with no major disreprancies whilst experiencing the same awful treatment that every other disabled person gets then hats off to them but that’s such a small percentage of people that it’s crazy

grieving my health is a process i don't think i'll ever escape