#brodinsons

blue!Loki and Thor from my fanfic: This Seat of Mars

Thank you @blackbirdofasgard for the tag!

Haven't done much work on this due to appointments, but it's chugging along slowly. For a little context: Loki and Thor are young in this fic, hunting for a bear. It doesn't go too well.

“This might hurt.” With no further warning, he presses the searing-hot blade against the recently naked skin of Loki’s stomach, effectively charring the first claw mark—but no blood seeps from it when Thor pulls the blade off. It’s working. Loki’s pale as the snow around them and trembles rigidly, though only a few matches remain to light his figure. “Oh, that hurts,” Loki says through clenched teeth. “I did warn you.” Thor grimaces. The scent of burnt flesh turns his stomach. “But I will try to be quick.” “I don’t think efficiency is the issue here.” “Then do some magic stuff to numb the pain. Or something.” “Healing magic is well beyond my level of skill. I couldn’t heal a tiger from a splinter. Norns’ sakes, I need alcohol.” “I have mead.” “Of course you do. So, where is it?”

FROM THE START

Chapter 28: Loki I - Speaking with the Past

Excerpt:

Loki looked at the tips of his fingers.

It’s true, he had done mental magic before. Just recently with Vision was something like mind magic, as close to it as his odd mind would allow. He had forced Valkyrie to remember the death of her people. He did other things too, with the Grandmaster, with Amora, with Tyr, with all sorts of people.

It was to win. Sometimes it was to survive.

He had it done to him too.

That too was rarely gentle.

Some references for the images in the flashback section:

thor - pan, transmasc, polyamorous

hela - lesbian, transfem, acespec

loki: ..?

thor: here you go your gay balloon cuz it got all the colors cuz its gay

loki: ...okay

thor: and i got skittles because it has a rainbow on it

loki: ....

thor: and i got a cake it say BEEE WHOO YOU AAARE FOR YOUR PRIDE 🎶🎶🎶

loki (quietly): .....thank you.....

loki: why are you doing this

thor: ...

Hi! 💚💚💚

I assume you mean the brodinsons essay I mentioned in my post.

The brodinsons, to me, are a perfect representation of the "You trust me, but not in a way that matters" vs "You care about me, but not in the way it matters" trope.

Loki trusts Thor to save the world. Loki trusts Thor with their parents, he trusts Thor with his life, honestly. But he doesn't trust Thor with his vulnerabilities, his safety, his problems. He never really lets Thor in, they may fight on the same side and Loki tells him about some of his plans, but he never even attempted to bring up Thanos, and, in retrospect, he never really asked Thor for help. Like, with anything. It's Thor who comes to him when there's a problem, it's Thor who's venting about his problems to him on occasion, it's Thor who, even though he denies it, trusts Loki almost completely, whether he realizes it or not. And all of the things Loki trusts Thor with end up... not mattering, after all. Loki may have trusted that Thor would tace care of Frigga, but that didn't matter. He trusted Thor to bo a hero, but did it do much? It seems that Loki views Thor as this indestructible, perfect idol (it's his older brother, after all), and IW even heavily implies that he assumed Thor could handle torture better than he himself did, but, just like IW showed us, Loki believed in Thor's omnipotence too much. And this trust didn't matter. But you know what would've mattered? If Loki trusted him with his problems. Don't get me wrong, it's not like MCU!Thor gave him much reason to try to open up and ask fir help, but, by AoU, Thor already suspects shady business with the infinity stones. If Loki was to trust him with his vulnerabilities, with the information he held, hiw different would IW go?

And Thor does care about Loki. But more so in a way one cares about their favorite toy. I'd argue Thor sees Loki as an extension of himself rather than a person, and it shows. Thor cares if Loki lives, Thor cares if Loki's on his side, Thor cares if Loki's home, on Asgard. What he doesn't care about is if Loki's hurt, or unhappy, or is stuck in an unsafe situation. Yes, Loki, as far as we're aware, has never trusted Thor with info about Thanos, but in A1 Thor does suspect that Loki's being forced, he simply doesn't care enough to ever do anything about this suspicion once Loki dodges his question. He leaves Loki's body on Svartalfheim. He tortures Loki. Because yes, he cares about Loki, but never in a way that would make a difference. Never in a way that would recognize Loki as someone alive and capable of having opinions and feelings. And yes, some might say that Loki's actions in T1 mixed with the fact that Loki never trusted him with his pain made it harder for Thor to care (still doesn't justify torture), but none of Thor's actions has ever suggested that Loki could trust him. And all of the things Thor cared about, regarding Loki, he did end up getting. Loki was there, was on his side, was next to him, as Thor has begged him in A1, Loki "came home". But that didn't matter, did it. The thing that Thor didn't care enough about to ask twice has caught up to them mere months later.

And it's a never ending cycle of torment, isn't it. Would Loki trust Thor if Thor cared about him? Would Thor care more if Loki trusted him?

Either way, Loki never told Thor anything, and Thor left Loki to his suffering.