#avolition

She was asking if it was because I felt bad about myself, if I disliked my body. And I get why, I am female and a young adult, the prime demographic for restrictive eating disorders.

But it lead into an interesting explanation. I do not have a high nor low self-esteem; I do not think badly of myself, nor do I think well of myself; to me, I just exist, without any morality or value attached.

When I look into the mirror, I do not see a face I identify as 'me'... I just see a face. It moves when I move, it feels when I touch, sure, I recognise fully that it belongs to me, that it is my body and flesh. I do not experience any delusions around not being real, about my reflection not being my own.

But it's just a body. It's just like looking at a photo of someone else, or seeing them in real life (as if I ever go out and see others).

I have great trouble with the simple idea of living things being, well, living. I have great trouble with flesh having thoughts and experiences behind it. I know I am alive, I know I am conscious. Inside my own head, indeed, I am, I am so very alive.

Avolition - Monument to the Forsaken

Melodic Death Metal from Gothenburg, Sweden

Formed on the west coast of Sweden, Avolition have been quietly chasing their musical identity, waiting for the perfect moment to capture their audience. They have now decided where on the sonic spectrum of Gothenburg-based metal they want to start forging their path, and are ready to bring their music to the public. With fast drums and loud guitars they will draw your attention, and reach into your mind with the perfect melodic blend that defines the Swedish metal scene. Avolition have only just started.

1. Chains of Torment 04:10 2. Promises of Paradise 04:32 3. Trial by Fire 03:55 4. The Malevolent One 03:42 5. Shattered Land 05:17 6. Standing in the Dark 05:02 7. Call to Subservience 03:28 8. Cannon Fodder 04:12 9. False Ascension 03:54 10. Digital Decay 04:17 11. As the Whole World Burns 02:59

Release date: June 10th, 2026

I don't eat unless it is literally brought to me and it is has to be easy food. I just lay around or sleep, and I can't do much other than that.

Definition: Avolition refers to a lack of motivation or an inability to initiate and sustain goal-directed activities. In psychology, avolition is often associated with various psychiatric conditions, including schizophrenia, depression, and schizoid personality disorder.

The Schizoid Experience...

Avolition is a common feature observed in individuals with schizoid dynamics or schizoid personality disorder, contributing to their characteristic lack of drive and initiative in pursuing social and occupational goals. Schizoid individuals may struggle to find motivation or interest in engaging with others or participating in activities that others find rewarding or fulfilling. This lack of motivation may extend to both social interactions and work-related tasks, leading to a pattern of social withdrawal and underachievement. Avolition can further isolate individuals with schizoid personality disorder, as they may lack the drive to seek out social opportunities or engage in activities that could potentially lead to personal growth or fulfillment. This can manifest as:

- Lack of Motivation and Initiative: Individuals with schizoid dynamics may exhibit a lack of motivation or initiative in pursuing social and occupational goals, akin to avolition.

- Difficulty Initiating and Sustaining Activities: Schizoid individuals may struggle to initiate and sustain goal-directed activities, contributing to a pattern of social withdrawal and underachievement.

- Lack of Interest in Social Interactions: Avolition may manifest as a lack of interest or motivation in engaging with others or participating in social activities.

- Underachievement and Social Withdrawal: The lack of motivation and initiative associated with avolition can lead to underachievement and social withdrawal in individuals with schizoid personality disorder.

- Isolation and Lack of Personal Growth: Avolition can further isolate individuals, as they may lack the drive to seek out social opportunities or engage in activities that could lead to personal growth or fulfillment.