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Every time something I say gets a negative reaction I remove it from the mental container of "things I can say". Which means eventually I will reach zero sayable words. And then I win, roll credits
avoidant culture is feeling far more comfortable yearning for fictional people that don't exist because i never actually have to get close to them. i can just write alone and feel comfortable never divulging anything
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babygirl i can feel embarrassed over things you haven't even heard of
"why do they never reach out to me"/"why am i always the one who reaches out first" -> just ask. seriously. please. most people genuinely don't mean to avoid interacting first. a lot of the time it's unintentional.
i've met so many avoidants over the years and a lot of the time it's usually out of social anxiety. or they're depressed. or maybe they actually have you reaching out first as part of their routine, so when you finally decide to not, they think you just want space, and they're too afraid of asking themself.
ask. work things out. express your own worries. maybe you asking will make them reach out more, or maybe you'll realize that you're actually fine with reaching out first, you were just worried that the feelings weren't mutual, but they are. they are mutual. it's okay.
i've met so many avoidants who have profound abandonment issues over these things because they have such a hard time interacting with people. please be patient. please try and work things out with them. please try and communicate with them. please try and compromise your needs. be gentle.
please start asking why before jumping to conclusions and leaving. please.
