#avpdposting

Every time something I say gets a negative reaction I remove it from the mental container of "things I can say". Which means eventually I will reach zero sayable words. And then I win, roll credits

Scientists should invent an existing that is entirely invisible and private and imperceivable to anyone

(Pretending to be a real person) yeah I love talking to people. I love social interaction with other members of my species. Conveying meaning to fellow humans through words and sentences is so fun. I voluntarily spend time in the same physical space as another person at least once a week

AVPD is like every sentence I say makes a [LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER] sound ring inside my head

Amazing how a single negative experience with someone, a single instance of judgement, criticism or rejection, is enough for me to shut down and avoid them like the plague. Honestly a wonder I have any social relationships at all, I was clearly meant to be a snail, not a human

Avoidance as an anxiety response is extremely weird, because, at least for me, it can sometimes feel almost indistinguishable from not caring. Which is so counterintuitive it feels ironic, like I worry so much about this thing that I circle right back to not giving a shit

Inferiority "complex"? I find it quite simple really

AVPD is like my brain is constantly running a simulation that tries to predict other (hypothetical) people's possible criticisms of every action I take. The simulation is kinda broken so it always returns the worst outcome possible. I can't turn the simulation off. It's trying to predict possible criticisms of a thing I thought about making, that no one would even know about, because I would do it alone in my own house and not show it to anyone. The simulation says everyone would think I'm stupid for it. Everyone WHO you dumb brain machine?????