#athiktomisia

Mom, at the appeal for me to get disability SSI: [misgendering] was born 4 months premature and the doctors said the reason [misgendering] hates being touched and never even wanted to hold hands with me as a little kid is because of the way the nervous system's development was disrupted by being born so premature. As a kid [misgendering] never wanted to hold hands or hug, wouldn't even let me or the grandparents hug [misgendering]. It's a real disability that shows how disabled and not normal [misgendering] is.

Mom, literally less than 10 minutes later, bragging to the lawyer and pulling me into a hug against my will "haha but I still hug [misgendering] anyways hehehe mom's privilege hahah"

You'd think this would be an unrealistic satire if I wrote it in a fictional story, but no, it's just what actually happened and what she always does.

If you know someone doesn't like being touched, for any reason, and you want to respect their boundaries? You want to actually show them you respect them and care about them?

"Athiktomisia" is a term for ableism specifically against touch averse people, because just calling it general "ableism" is too broad and just gives people excuses to ignore you.

It comes from the greek word that means pretty much "untouchable".

Solitaremit / solitaremity refer to a touch averse person who does not get touch starved and does not crave touch in any way.

Solitaremisia is athiktomisia specifically against touch averse people who do not want any kind of touch ever.

because even within the touch averse community there's still the idea that you must crave touch even if you don't enjoy it, or else there's something horribly inhumanely wrong with you -.-

[ID: Five versions of the Garfield, "Huh. I wonder who that's for". meme, with Garfield the cat standing in front of a poster.

In the first four versions, the poster has been replaced by a simple digital drawing of Murderbot from The Murderbot Diaries books, wearing grey armour with its face hidden behind the helmet's dark faceplate.

Arrows have been drawn, pointing at Garfield and the poster. In the first four versions, the poster is labeled, "The Murderbot Diaries, repeatedly."

The first version has Garfield labeled, "

Ableists, aroacemisics, and abuse apologists in the Murderbot fandom". The poster reads, "Don't ship slaves with their owners.".

In the second version, Garfield is labeled, "Ableists in the Murderbot fandom". The poster reads, "Murderbot is touch-averse. It does not want to be touched.".

The third labels Garfield, "Aroacemisics in the Murderbot fandom", and the poster reads, "Murderbot is aroace and is repulsed by romance and sex. It is viscerally disgusted by the idea of being in any kind of relationship.".

The fourth labels Garfield, "Transmisics in the Murderbot fandom". The poster reads, "Murderbot's pronouns are it/its and the only time it's called anything else is when it's actively being oppressed.".

The last version labels Garfield, "Jackasses in the Murderbot fandom", and the poster no longer shows Murderbot, but instead just has text. The poster has been relabeled, "The literal Entire Point of The Murderbot Diaries", with the words "entire point" underlined for emphasis.

The poster reads, "People who are different from society's norm should not have to conform in order to be treated with respect.

Touch-averse people do not need to be 'fixed'. People who do not want romantic or sexual relationships do not need to be 'fixed'. Autistic people do not need to be 'fixed'. People who are harmlessly different deserve to be treated with respect even if you can't relate to them.".

End ID.]

If you don't do any of the shit this post is talking about, then don't make it about you 🔪 (A knife emoji).

I am once again asking The Murderbot Diaries fandom to actually support the people that Murderbot actually represents:

Those who are touch-averse

Those who are aroace

Those who do not want any kind of relationship

(Yes, that includes QPRs! I know this is a radical concept for allos to grasp, but literally no relationship is required to be happy in life! QPRs are not your free card to ship aroace characters who are repulsed by relationships of all kinds!)

Those who are nonbinary

Those who use it/its pronouns

Those who are autistic

Those who are neurodivergent

The list goes on.

If you force the people who Murderbot actually represents to be the only ones calling out the bigotry in this fandom, you are not making this fandom a safe or welcoming place for us. You cannot claim to love Murderbot and then erase or stand happily by while other erase everything that makes it who it is.

Erasing a character's touch-repulsion, or acting like it's something that can or should be fixed with romance, sex, or a QPR, is ableist as all fucking shit. If you are not touch-repulsed you have no fucking business writing about Murderbot being touched.

Erasing a characters aroace identity to pretend that it's "just" asexual or "just" aromantic depending on how you ship it is aroacemisia as shit. Murderbot is not "just" asexual or "just" aromantic. It is equally viscerally disgusted by both romance and sex. It is viscerally disgusted by the idea of being in a relationship of any kind -- literally including a platonic one. As everyone who has read the 5th book fucking well knows. If you erase Murderbot's aroness or aceness in order to create a flimsy justification for shipping it, you are literally just being an aroacemisia peice of shit.

Yes, even if you're ''shipping it queerplatonically'' when that fucking "queer platonic shipping" involves it being touched and the narrator being horny for it -.-

If you want this fandom to actually be welcoming to the people Murderbot actually represents, then yes, you do, in fucking fact, need to put in the effort of making it hostile to bigots.

You cannot tolerate bigotry and let it go by without comment and then pretend you're a safe person to be around.

This fandom cannot tolerate ableism, transmisia, exorsexism, aroacemisia, and athiktomisia (bigotry against people who are touch-averse) and then pretend that it's a safe space for the kinds of people that Murderbot actually represents.

The Murderbot Diaries actually treats aroace and touch-averse people with respect. The bar is in the fucking ground. There is no fucking excuse for being ableist or aroacemisia by erasing Murderbot's entire personality for the sake of shipping.

If you're tired of seeing my posts calling this shit out, then do fucking better, fandom. All of you are capable of making your own fucking posts condemning bigotry. So fucking do so.

Anonymous said:

Prompt idea: touch repulsed (unless iniciated themselves) aroace and touch starved aroace try and navegate a platonic relationship in a middleground

the post was tagged:

#writing prompt, #prompt, #aromantic, #aroace, #touch repulsed, #touch starved, #friendship, #vaguerel, #submitted

link to original post. Archived link, since I hope the original will be deleted at some point or at least edited to be educational >:(

I am attempting to make this post as short and simple as possible.

Here is the simplest way I can possibly explain why this is ableist as shit:

The only so-called "middleground" between someone who is touch averse and someone who is asking them for touch, is the touch averse person suffering.

There are no ifs, ands, or buts about this.

If you ask touch averse people to "negotiate a middleground" between respecting their boundaries and causing them harm, you are doing nothing but causing harm.

Why is it always touch averse people who are forced to "compromise" on their boundaries?

Why is it always touch averse people who are fucking demonized for having boundaries?

That's what this prompt is doing, intentionally or not. The entire premise of this prompt is "a touch averse person exists, and that causes problems for other people".

Why is it always touch averse people who must negotiate and compromise on their boundaries?

Why is it always the touch averse person who must suffer for the sake of others?

[Plain text: "Why is it always the touch averse person who must suffer for the sake of others?" End plain text.]

Stop writing stories like this. Stop asking others to create stories like this. Stop fucking perpetuating the same ableism touch averse people face their entire fucking lives.

Let touch averse people have boundaries that no one ever fucking asks them to compromise on.

Let's frame it this way:

Say you don't want to be thrown into lava, but someone asks you to "negotiate a middleground" on that boundary.

This compromise, you are told, will still literally involve you being thrown into lava, but apparently, it's okay now, because you're being shamed into agreeing to it. What are they compromising on, you ask? Well, nothing! Literally nothing. They get everything they want, you lose everything you need.

Would you be happy with this arrangement?

Would you feel happy and safe and respected by being thrown into lava, or shamed for refusing? Even shamed even when you are thrown in?

No?

Congratulations! Now you have an idea of the kind of shit touch averse people have to put up their whole life!

If you actually want to respect touch averse people, don't even fucking ask us to compromise on our boundaries. If you wouldn't demand a sex repulsed person have sex with you just because you're horny, don't demand a touch averse person to touch you just because you're touch starved.

[Plain text: "If you actually want to respect touch averse people, don't even fucking ask us to compromise on our boundaries. If you wouldn't demand a sex repulsed person have sex with you just because you're horny, don't demand a touch averse person to touch you just because you're touch starved.". End Plain Text.]

Would you be willing to purposefully burn your hand on a hot stove just because you really like the stove and think it's awesome?

No?

Then why do you think touch-averse people should be willing to touch someone just because we like them?

Unless there is a literal medical emergency and people will get hurt or die otherwise, I will not willingly touch anyone, whether they be family, friends, or random strangers.

I wouldn't willingly burn my hand on a hot stove just because I like the stove, for the same reason I won't willingly hold hands with or accept a hug from someone, even if I like them: I don't enjoy being in physical distress when I can avoid it.

Touch aversion is not just "having trust issues". It's not something that you should treat as something that can or should be "fixed" with the power of friendship or love or sex or whatever you think rules the world.

Just because I think the stove is awesome and works great doesn't mean I want to burn my hand on it.

Just because I think someone's awesome and a great friend doesn't mean I want to touch them or let them touch me.

"Touch averse" does not equal "has trust issues".

Insisting that everyone who is touch averse just needs to open up and stop being shy and admit they're secretly touch starved and want to be touched is ableist as hell, and shows a fundamental lack of understanding of why so many people are touch averse.

OH YOU MEAN A HORROR STORY???? YOU MEAN LIKE A HORROR STORY???? WHAT YOU'RE DESCRIBING IS A HORROR STORY!!! AND YOU ARE THE FUCKING VILLAIN!!!!

[Plain text: "Oh you mean a horror story???? You mean like a horror story???? What you're describing is a horror story!!! And you are the fucking villain!!!!" End plain text.]

[ID: Six pictures of Murderbot from the cover of All Systems Red, in front of different pride flags. Murderbot is shown from the chest upward, wearing grey armour, with a helmet that hides its face behind a dark visor like a spacesuit. Each has the word "Oh," in the top left corner, and "Fuck you" at the bottom, with text in the right upper corner completing the sentence. The first has Murderbot in front of the it/its pride flag and reads, "Oh, you insist on misgendering me 'to be respectful'? Fuck you.".

The second has the touch-repulsed flag, with stripes of orange, red, black, red, and orange, and says, "Oh, you erase the fact that I'm touch-repulsed? Fuck you.".

The third is a combination of the sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed flags, with a very dark grey center, a vertical purple stripe on the left, a vertical green stripe on the right, and inside each stripe a dark grey circle with a white minus symbol inside it. Each stripe is separated from the grey by a white line. It reads, "Oh, you erase my repulsion towards sex, romance, and any other form of relationship? Fuck you.".

The fourth is the aroace flag, with stripes of orange, yellow, white, light blue, and navy blue, and reads, "Oh, you erase the fact that I feel neither romantic nor sexual attraction? Fuck you.".

The fifth is the "you are looking away" flag, with stripes of dark purple, black, grey, and desaturated green, and reads, "Oh, you ship me with other characters? Fuck you.".

End ID.]

Free fucking memes for everyone to use as reactions when they come across assholes erasing Murderbot's identity for the sake of fucking shipping.

If you haven't seen anyone doing these things, I hope for your sake it stays that way.

Here's a blank one so you can make your own as long as you aren't doing any of this fucking shit.