#touchaverse

Mom, at the appeal for me to get disability SSI: [misgendering] was born 4 months premature and the doctors said the reason [misgendering] hates being touched and never even wanted to hold hands with me as a little kid is because of the way the nervous system's development was disrupted by being born so premature. As a kid [misgendering] never wanted to hold hands or hug, wouldn't even let me or the grandparents hug [misgendering]. It's a real disability that shows how disabled and not normal [misgendering] is.

Mom, literally less than 10 minutes later, bragging to the lawyer and pulling me into a hug against my will "haha but I still hug [misgendering] anyways hehehe mom's privilege hahah"

You'd think this would be an unrealistic satire if I wrote it in a fictional story, but no, it's just what actually happened and what she always does.

Anonymous said:

Prompt idea: touch repulsed (unless iniciated themselves) aroace and touch starved aroace try and navegate a platonic relationship in a middleground

the post was tagged:

#writing prompt, #prompt, #aromantic, #aroace, #touch repulsed, #touch starved, #friendship, #vaguerel, #submitted

link to original post. Archived link, since I hope the original will be deleted at some point or at least edited to be educational >:(

I am attempting to make this post as short and simple as possible.

Here is the simplest way I can possibly explain why this is ableist as shit:

The only so-called "middleground" between someone who is touch averse and someone who is asking them for touch, is the touch averse person suffering.

There are no ifs, ands, or buts about this.

If you ask touch averse people to "negotiate a middleground" between respecting their boundaries and causing them harm, you are doing nothing but causing harm.

Why is it always touch averse people who are forced to "compromise" on their boundaries?

Why is it always touch averse people who are fucking demonized for having boundaries?

That's what this prompt is doing, intentionally or not. The entire premise of this prompt is "a touch averse person exists, and that causes problems for other people".

Why is it always touch averse people who must negotiate and compromise on their boundaries?

Why is it always the touch averse person who must suffer for the sake of others?

[Plain text: "Why is it always the touch averse person who must suffer for the sake of others?" End plain text.]

Stop writing stories like this. Stop asking others to create stories like this. Stop fucking perpetuating the same ableism touch averse people face their entire fucking lives.

Let touch averse people have boundaries that no one ever fucking asks them to compromise on.

Let's frame it this way:

Say you don't want to be thrown into lava, but someone asks you to "negotiate a middleground" on that boundary.

This compromise, you are told, will still literally involve you being thrown into lava, but apparently, it's okay now, because you're being shamed into agreeing to it. What are they compromising on, you ask? Well, nothing! Literally nothing. They get everything they want, you lose everything you need.

Would you be happy with this arrangement?

Would you feel happy and safe and respected by being thrown into lava, or shamed for refusing? Even shamed even when you are thrown in?

No?

Congratulations! Now you have an idea of the kind of shit touch averse people have to put up their whole life!

If you actually want to respect touch averse people, don't even fucking ask us to compromise on our boundaries. If you wouldn't demand a sex repulsed person have sex with you just because you're horny, don't demand a touch averse person to touch you just because you're touch starved.

[Plain text: "If you actually want to respect touch averse people, don't even fucking ask us to compromise on our boundaries. If you wouldn't demand a sex repulsed person have sex with you just because you're horny, don't demand a touch averse person to touch you just because you're touch starved.". End Plain Text.]

[ID: Four versions of the touch-averse flag with stripes of desaturated and deep orange, red, black, red, and orange. The first is square shaped, and has only the stripes. The second is the same, but with an added symbol in the middle to represent a milkweed flower. It has five petals, and a pentagon shaped center, with small ovals overlapping the center from the petals. The lines are drawn in orange, with the petals black and red. Th other two versions of the flag is the same as the first and second, but are longer than they are tall. End ID.]

Since I decided milkweed should be a symbol of touch aversion since the colors are based on poisonous animals, here's a version of the touch-averse flag with a milkweed flower on it, with header versions included.

Here's a black and white version of just the symbol so you can make your own stuff. Feel free to also make your own, more symetrical/neat/ect version.

[ID: A black and white drawing of a the front of a milkweed flower, with a pentagon in the center, pointed ovals like claws connecting the points of the pentagon to the petals, and five oval shaped petals, each with an oval inside of it to represent different colors. The image has a black border. End ID.]

As with all my pride flags, feel free to use for literally anything you'd use a pride flag for -- headers, icons, moodboards, redbubble designs, T shirts you print out and sell, literally whatever the hell you want. No credit or permission necessary, though I will ask that you include image descriptions whenever possible.