#allos

Divorce. Probably therapy first, but definitely divorce tbh. Comment could have been a mistake but he’s mad at you now so

Police. Jail. A gun.

Was it consensual? Yes -> two options, you don’t mind don’t do anything, you do mind break up

Break up

I- what? Does he have a friend called will per chance?

Report the coworker and block them online

Block them. It’s online. Ghost and block. Tell them to fuck off

1. I'm Aro/Ace, don't associate with gender at all (Erenth)

2. I have discovered I hate being called words that people who experience attraction of any sort call each other to signify they are attracted to the individual receiving the compliment:

Pretty

Handsome

Sexy

Gorgeous

Hot

Fine

Etc.

If any or multiple of these terms are applied to me, I'm instantly uncomfortable, even if it's meant platonically.

I HAVE found, however, I don't mind people commenting things like:

"I love your glasses! They are so pretty!" ✅️

Me: Thank you! [Shpiel mode activated] I got them off vooglam.com - the frames were like $20 and with my prescription it was like $70-$80! They're also super durable, I'm rough on glasses.

"Oh! That's AWESOME!" ✅️

~*~

"I love that shirt!" ✅️

"Thanks! It's my favorite!"

"It looks good on you!" <- borderline ❌️ depending on how it's given

~*~

"You look happy today. Who got you glowin like that?" ✖️

"Me. I just thought of a really cool plot twist in my story."

"Oh what's do you write about?" <- depending on what level of weird this person is open to ✅️

~~~

I dress comfortably - loose (generally) dark clothing for sensory issues (bright colors hurt my eyes and give me headaches) - and I do NOT dress to impress, to cater, to attract attention, to make myself feel "pretty/hot/sexy/handsome/fine" etc. I put clothes on because I don't like being naked (again, sensory issues), and outside of my job, don't care if they are covered in fur, look unprofessional, like I'm poor, clash and don't match, have holes from wear and tear, or have faded marks from accidental bleach exposure.

I'm not here to attract anyone, impress anyone, or cater to anyone's preferences except my own. People who are like "You should dress up to make yourself feel nice! Find yourself attractive!"

Wrong. You know what makes me feel nice? A loose fitting dark t-shirt and soft leggings. Never once have I found myself attractive and that has boosted my confidence to go out in public more because that means there are less people who will call me attraction-adjacent words to make me uncomfortable.

I used to have hair long enough to sit on and got a LOT of compliments on it. After cutting my hair damn near buzz cut short, I stopped getting those comments and my confidence grew.

I don't care that I'm fat. I don't care that I'm not aesthetically pleasing. I don't want to be!!!! I want to live in my cabin in the woods and write my books.

I don't want a partner. I don't need compliments or suggestions regarding my appearance. They are unwelcome.

it's ok to take a break from dating, you don't need to constantly be in a relationship

it's ok to have never dated, take your time

its ok to not want to have sex

its ok to "save" yourself for the right person

its ok to have never been in a sexual relationship

its ok to have never been in a romantic relationship

its ok to experience attraction and not act on it

its ok to not be married by 18, or 20, or 30, or 40, etc

its ok to not have a "high school sweetheart" or "teenage romance"

its ok.

you're ok.

just take it at your own speed, okay? don't hurt yourself by rushing/forcing yourself into a relationship, even if you really want it, sometimes emotions can drive you into harmful situations without realizing it