#asexual discourse

Saw this in the ace tags (username is redacted to prevent harassment).

I am pointing, laughing even.

Like I don't know how to break this to ya, but those people are right. A lot of the discourse aimed at asexuals on this site were perpetuated by radfems, ya know THE discourse. The stuff that forced people back into the closet, traumatized a good chunk of our community and left it an echo of what it once was. Maybe YOU, random tumblr user aren't any of those things but understand that a good chunk of the people you associate with are. A lot of that boils down to the ideology they hold (in general).

I get that it sucks to be a woman in society, I'm afab. I just don't think the way radfems choose to react to it is justified, understandable, but not justified. I don't see how treating all men like animals, and all women as harmless is particularly beneficial in the long run. Especially when it isn't even doing any good in the first place. When it often comes at the cost of my trans siblings.

I'm getting downvoted for finding this comparison offensive. That's enough reddit for tonight.

video essay: the chronically online state of asexual discourse

"In fact, I have a lot of thoughts - but it’s taken me until now to feel ready to talk about them. I guess this video is a classic video essay with a side of mini asexual discourse manifesto by Rowan. I have been worried about being quoted out of context, or misconstrued, or actively even harassed. But I feel like we’re at a point of asexual history where we need to have having more nuanced discussions, and I just keep thinking about how both “sides” in this Discourse have the potential to harm some of the most vulnerable people within that spectrum of identity and community."

Like, uh, yeah, dumb ass, queer identities are only based in queerness. If you are not attracted to the same gender or trans, your identities are not queer. They do not impact your role in the LGBT community. A straight man who is cis but does not feel sexual desire is not queer. A cis straight kinky man isn't queer either. There's no identity identity you can give a cisgender, straight person or cisgender aroace person that would make them LGBT.

i think youre misinterpreting what i said. i dont think smth that doesnt contribute to someones queerness is neutral. i wasnt implying any part of anyones identity is neutral, i was noting that the treatment of aro and ace identities as neutral is a common belief in exclusionists. by that i mean that they are ignored as a factor impacting the lives of an individual. they are treated as having no meaningful impact on the persons sexuality, and that the only impact comes from the attraction present.

youre trying to define an example of queerness that i just dont agree with. the idea that same sex attraction is necessary is just kinda an arbitrary rule you believe in. I would personally say that the main connecting factor of the LGBT community is the way our identities have shaped the way we experience the world in comparison to cishet people.

i do actually think a heteroromantic asexual cis guy is LGBT if thats how he chooses to define his identity. Like i briefly mentioned in my post, our world is shaped around relationships. there are legal benefits to relationships. they are treated as a given expectation. to not experience sexual attraction greatly changes the way you experience relationships, as well as the way society treats you.

your entire argument just proves the point of my post. you view aromanticity and asexuality as inherently neutral, providing no experiences that could connect to queer experiences. You treat them as if they are just basically straight. but all the aro and/or ace people i have personally interacted with have far more in common experience-wise with queer experiences than they do with straight ones