"Dysphoria means hard to bear so saying you need dysphoria to be trans means you think you need to hate yourself to be trans!!"
Dysphoria does mean something is hard to bear; if your assigned gender at birth is hard enough emotionally to bear that you need to make changes to relive those uncomfortable emotions you're trans.
Being trans means needing to transition; if someone doesn't feel discomfort or a need to change things about their life due to their assigned gender at birth causing them discomfort yet they transition anyway then they're not trans because they never needed to transition.
I'm obviously not saying that people who do feel a need to transition but can't aren't trans, it's the need to transition to relieve discomfort that makes someone trans, not their ability to transition.
It just seems like a lot of people think that the 'significant distress' in the definition of gender dysphoria means that you need to hate yourself to be trans somehow; it just means that you need to feel enough discomfort to feel better from transitioning.