#actually hallucinating

I don't think people realize how hard it is to have schizophrenia.

I see many posts that are like. Acting schizophrenic for laughs but like. It's actually fucking debilitating.

I can't work bc of it. I can't maintain friendships bc of it. When I make friends, it takes months for me to even tell them the fake name I go by (let alone my real name) bc I'm so paranoid they'll find me and hurt me.

I don't talk to people outside of my house unless I see someone else talking to them bc I don't know if they're real or not. I have a phobia of people touching me bc one of my delusions is that people only take touch as sexual. No matter the touch. My heart could literally stop, and I would still be convinced that after someone gives me CPR, they take touching me as sexual. Like this shit is not funny.

I can't stay up past a certain time at night bc I'm convinced skinwalkers are out to get me. I have toothpaste smeared in the top corner of my walls to "cover up the cameras." My mom told me one time that "God is always watching" and I couldn't sleep for three days bc of it. But yeah. Schizophrenia is funny.

"The voices the fucking voices" "omg the voices are getting so loud XD"

Shut up. It is so fucking annoying when people say that. Do you know how hard it is the not be able to keep up with conversations bc the voices in your head are drowning out the sound of someone talking to you? What it's like to have keep yourself from saying what the voices are saying bc you're getting your words mixed up? It's like someone screaming in your ear while you're trying to talk without letting your train of thought get derailed.