#ableist

Please either get off your high horses or start tagging your posts so I can filter them. It's getting annoying seeing the same untagged "I think (insert bad thing) is bad because I'm a righteous asshole." posts over and over again.

Sincerely,

It took her 90 minutes to leave and me asking about 4 times.

Then she tried to stop at a side the road flower sale, then she wanted to pull over to find a rainbow that neither of us could see (bc it didnt exist! it was sunny and raining and she just assumed but there wasnt one!!)

Then i try to explain how its ableist.

She says "STOP. I LOVE YOU. Why are you judging me? And why am i the only one who has to change my behavior you arent perfect!!"

Im truly too close to going no contact out of concern for my physical health and stress. Between this, my grandfather insinuating i can work ans my brother taking PHOTOS OF ME when i jogged across a street in traffic, he did this to show people "proof" i "could be working".

THE REASON IT IS ONE IS BECAUE THAT USED TO BE THE NAME OF INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY.

NOT ONLY HAVE PEOPLE USED THAT TERM TO DEGRADE INTELLECTUALLY DISABLED PEOPLE, THAT TERM AND DIAGNOSIS IN PARTICULAR WERE USED TO STERILIZE, INSTITUTIONALIZE, INCARCERATE, ABUSE, AND EVEN KILL THEM.

THAT TERM WAS USED TO DENY LIFE-SAVING CARE, ONE’S AUTONOMY, AND EVEN, THEIR LIFE. THAT TERM WAS USED TO STRIP ONE AWAY OF THEIR BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS AND DIGNITY. THAT TERM WAS FACTORED INTO EUGENICS.

ITS WHAT THEY’VE BEEN SAYING SINCE THE 70’S, BUT BECAUSE MOST CONVERSATION AROUND IT JUST BECOMES “JUST DON’T SAY IT AROUND THEM” AND/OR “THAT’S JUST A MEAN WORD”, SOCIETY HAS BEEN TAUGHT THAT TERMS LIKE THE R SLUR ARE JUST PROFANE WAYS OF DEMEANING SOMEONE’S INTELLIGENCE.

AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON HOW INTELLECTUALLY DISABLED PEOPLE’S ACTIVISM IS OFTEN UNDERMINED BY BOTH SIDES, WITH “ALLIES” GOING “THOSE POOR THINGS CAN’T SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES” AND THE DEFENDERS OF THAT SLUR RESPONDING WITH “WELL, IF THEY CAN’T SPEAK UP, THEY MIGHT AS WELL NOT CARE. AFTER ALL, THEY’RE TOO [R SLUR] TO BE HUMAN, LET ALONE THINK FOR THEMSELVES.”

AND NO, ITS NOT PERFORMATIVE TO TELL PEOPLE NOT TO USE THE SLUR, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IS? PRETENDING TO CARE, BUT WHEN THEY’RE NOT “RELEVANT”, THAT TERM’S BACK IN YOUR LEXICON. PRETENDING TO CARE, BUT UNDERMINING THE GROUP’S ADVOCACY. PRETENDING TO CARE, BUT NOT CARING ABOUT OTHER FORMS OF ABLEISM AND EVEN PARTAKING IN THEM, REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE GROUP SAYS. PRETENDING TO CARE, BUT DROPPING US THE MOMENT NOBODY ELSE DOES.

THE R SLUR AND OTHERS LIKE IT AREN’T JUST “MEAN WORDS” OR “EDGELORD BEHAVIOR”, THOSE TERMS ARE INDICATIVE OF HATRED, REPULSION, AND DISREGARD FOR OUR DIGNITY, OUR BODIES, OUR LIVES, OUR HUMANITY. NOT JUST FOR THE INTELLECTUALLY DISABLED COMMUNITY (ESPECIALLY THEM, THOUGH), BUT FOR THE ENTIRE DISABLED COMMUNITY AS WELL. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PROCLAIM YOUR “LOVE” FOR US, WHEN YOU THROW AROUND THOSE TERMS CARELESSLY, IT SHOWS THAT YOU DO NOT LOVE US LIKE HUMANS. YOU’RE JUST WILLING TO SHOW YOUR ASS TO US BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT WE WON’T GIVE A SHIT. WELL GUESS WHAT, WE DO, AND THOSE TERMS CARRY AMOUNTS OF HISTORICAL BAGGAGE THAT WILL STAIN IT, NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY AND SPIN IT. TERMS LIKE THE R SLUR HELP RAVAGE AND STRIP LIVES LIKE OURS, AND I BELIEVE THE REASON THAT THOSE TERMS HAVE COME BACK IN STYLE IS BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY ABLEISM THAT PEOPLE WANTED TO CHECK, AND EVEN THEN, THEY PROBABLY DON’T THINK IT EXISTS ANYWAY, AND IN THEIR MINDS, WE’RE JUST OVERDRAMATIC OR DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY OR DO TO OR ABOUT US.

Dude is still projecting about the Leah incident and bordering stalker behavior at this point.