🔮

lift up that loin cloth boy im tryna see what u got

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

if i had a pussy id be sure as fuck using it to asphyxiate the keebler elves i can tell you that much

Guy who likes looking at Flintstones porn a lot: “ alright I’m gonna go guys, got some Flintstones porn back home with my name on it”

This edible ain’t shit!!!!!! Just kidding dokey Kong 64 🦍🦧🐒🍌🌴🌴🌴🍌🛢️🍉🍊🥥🥜🍇🍍🪶🐊🦏🐝🦫🏝️🏜️🌊👑🔑🧚📸🌈🍌🟡🔴🔵🟣🟢🎈

my bitch so bad i had to put her in time out

gen z vampire laughing too hard to be able to bite their partner in the kirk zone neck

Getting fucked into unconsciousness SEEMS great until you wake up at 3am four hours before you need to be up for work and you being k/o'd means your partner ate the chocolate chip melon bread you had kinda wanted to eat first so you eat three yakult popsicles in a row to satisfy the sweet tooth you'd built up only to get The Poops after because that's a lot of sugar and probiotics to hit the system all at once so you end up working from home and it takes you forever to do anything bc you're operating off a single screen and also your boss's boss has begun talking to you for the first time in like two months asking you to do time sensitive things

fuck of desitel friday