Hey Chef What’s For Dinner ? Slop. Slime.

Psyduck commission for @grontlak and I did it with a migrane.

“ Remove the first 4 letters from your name and add Fuck. “

A. Old and wise

B. Old and absolutely bonkers. Just straight bananas

Or

i’m honestly not sure what i was expecting. but it turns out, in Morocco, goats climb trees. Like, this is a regular occurrence. it happens...A LOT

specifically, goats climb Argan trees in order to eat the fruit, which they don’t need to compete with other species for. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL. Many farmers encourage goats to climb their trees, because the goats digest the pulp of the fruit and later poop out the nuts--nuts that are then used to make Argan oil.

holy shit can you imagine going for an evening stroll and suddenly you see dozens of glowing rectangular eyes glaring at you from a TREE

like imagine these sheep

but with GOAT EYES

cape buffalo kill around 200 humans per year, making them one of the most dangerous animals in the world! 

but it’s not just humans they go after. cape buffalo are basically hyper-aggressive vegetarian tanks with just enough brain matter to recognize a new and interesting thing, but not enough to respond to the new thing in any way other than “trample it to death just in case”.

they regularly attack and kill lions, hyenas and leopards,

and they’ll go after any animal that has the misfortune to be nearby if they think it moved in a funny way! 

unfortunately for them though, they are NOT the largest or the strongest animal on the continent, so this is often where the cape buffalo’s bloodlust outstrips its ability. 

nature blessed them with brawn in abundance, but they still don’t have quite enough brain to realize that maybe they have no business attacking a christdamn rhino

or a fucking elephant

SONG: https://youtu.be/vC6fSobMKXQ

Holy fuckin shit!

MA! Ma come outside! There’s a fuckin moose or a buffalo or some shit they’re fight-

*car beeps/yeets off screen*

Where the fuck are you goin!?

MA!

‘oly shit!

This is some fuckin national geographic shit MA CALL THE FUCKING COPS OR THE ASPCA!

THERE’S ANIMALS FIGHTIN IN THE FRONT LAWN!