I Don't Even Know Anymore

Me, tears of blood running down my cheeks, froth curdling at the corners of my mouth, through gritted teeth: I WILL STAND SHIELD TO SHIELD TO DEFEND THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE HAVING RIGHTS

People in stories who get a dramatic phone call always hop in their cars and go “I’m two hours away. I’ll be there in one hour.” and then they are. It’s always half the time. It’s never, “I’m two hours away. I’ll be there in an hour and fifty minutes.” And sometimes it’s not even life or death! Love interest will be like, “what are we?” and suddenly some subaru is going 150 mph up the median on I-5. Everyone’s gonna fuckin throw tomatoes at me and hiss for my brave, controversial take, but I don’t think you should tokyo drift thru a school zone just so you can eat pussy sixty minutes ahead of schedule.

we've all been there

We should popularize more hispanized phonetic spellings of classic character names like we did with esnupi

maybe orpheus always looks back because his very effort to reverse death means that he can't look forward. if he could look forward, he could accept eurydice's death, grieve, and keep moving in life. his refusal to accept her death is looking back. his going down to the underworld, asking hades and persephone for her life, trying to lead her out... it's all 'looking back'. he does nothing for the entire story except look back. orpheus! looks! back! it's his entire thing! the story ends the same way it begins: orpheus looked back.

so fucking evil that i don’t have the jagged pointy cartoon teeth that fit together like triangles. i deserve them

the hatemail game on this site is insane

HAND CRANKED AND TWISTED

I just got described as an "ad hating commie" by someone because I said a minute of youtube ads is unpleasant. fully spent 5 minutes arguing and defending youtube ads. insane stuff

reblog if you are an ad hating commie

being on an airplane is a lot like being in kindergarten

I wanna hear where you're going with this

- someone tells you a story / tries to teach you something using pictures, props, and exaggerated hand gestures

You can look out the windows, but there is strictly NO going outside except at designated times.

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

Just found out I was thirsty not by receiving a signal from my body about it but by dozing off and dreaming about cold water from different alluring angles. This is great. I think all my wants and needs should be revealed to me this way