Toast the Unknowing

actually we should start headcanoning female characters as being terrible with children

stop mother-ifying fictional literally all female characters. that fictional woman would not know what the fuck to do with a child

when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain

It is so human and so not romance novel that after Elizabeth Bennet in Pride & Prejudice reads Mr. Darcy's letter and accepts that Wickham was the real villain and not him, her reaction is not, "Oh no, I loved and lost him!" it's "Oh shit, I fucked up! I hope I never see that man again in my entire life."

I hate when I get two problems in a row. They’re all gonna think I’m making it up.

A three-circle venn-diagram where the circles are "sex workers", "the furry community", and "people working in morgues". I don't know what the overlap parts are.

Fourth circle needed: IT workers

You say that with such confidence that I am compelled to trust your vision. Personally I have no idea where this is going.

i'd say the overlap between "sex workers" and "people who work in morgues" is probably "seeing naked strangers a lot"

"professional handling of bodies of strangers"?

Okay I’ve gone through many of the reblogs and “prefer when clients don’t talk to them” is peak

I think the middle overlap could also be 'the world would collapse if they stopped doing their jobs'

... who the fuck is fetishizing IT workers, and, more importantly, why are none of you doing it to me.

Dr. Wife: "what's that one actress in that movie you like? Joan Fontaine in Baby Got Back?" me: "you mean Joan Crawford in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?????"

you put a dog on a diet and he'll start begging for plain ass vinegar like he's christ on the cross