A rest day isn't enough. I need one billion years alone in a crystal.

Who the fuck is that thing tolling for

tumblr users act like any day now the first weed overdose death is coming

let's all green out together and pass away

uptown funk made me sexually attracted to bruno mars…….

stop!!!

wait a minute

fill my butt put some liquor in it!

Gay kink stores are like here’s the fuck master 5000 gnome king pig blaster it goes in your ass obviously pigfag and pansexual kink stores are like here’s like gender sensory backdoor pridefun exploration pleasure rod and it’s the same toy

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

im gonna make it big someday just you watch

*goes back to jerkin it*

Come to the library. We will laminate your penis for free.

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like he’s only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????

i would read that fanfic ngl

About my fish??

FUJOSHI FISH????

You smoked dog weed

you should really get comfortable believing in love and magic and whimsy or you’ll continue to live a half-life for the rest of the time you have on earth