wizarf

tshirt that says “i love abusing my authority” is raising a lot of questions that are not your place to ask

The only media I ever watched was amazing digital circus SFM porn and deltarune theories can I write a novel to change the world?

#if someone shouted something racialized at a food service worker and he pulled swords#if be like ‘yeah that’s fair’

i am going to suck you off! *puts in plastic vampire teeth and gives you the worst blowjob imaginable*

Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.

(military recruiter tarot card reader in august of 2001) *draws The Tower* *draws a second The Tower* now that's not supposed to happen

The fact that this is completely incomprehensible to me makes it funnier than if I could understand it

skill issue. i understand it completely

One huge downside about drinking more water is that now I’m just a little piss boy, needing to piss all the time. You’d think pissing for 45 seconds uninterrupted would get me a medal but no, I’m just Piss for Scotland.

penny is such a good name. hello my name is dollar bill