wizarf

it’s fun to stay at the Y

M

M

M

*smacks the side of my boom box to get the cd to stop skipping*

C

YOUNG MAN

do people even call their children squirt anymore

take away the teeth and the eyes children don't have that anymore

i block ppl all the time so my blocklist ranges from "actual fucking asshole fascist" n "post that mildly annoyed me because im petty" and if i went thru my blocklist rn i probably would have no idea why i blocked each of them but whatever

it's hard being a polyamorous action hero because whenever i have flashbacks to all my dead wives it takes like 20 minutes to get through all of it

it kind of sounds like youre just feeding local women to the deadwife montage

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

what if it was called american happy story

#the reason that lab safety regulations are the way they are is because literally all chemists are like this #as in 100% of them #no exceptions (via @prokopetz)

beeper's newest hobby is jumping up onto the shelf so he can stare directly into the lamp 😭

dont take bird noises for granted

next time ur outside and you hear birds just think about how awesome that is and how much it would suck if they were gone

Official ornithology post