lean mean meme machine

Kākāpō (Strigops habroptilus)

If i had a nickel for every time I saw a tumblr post where someone recognized One Parrot Specifically from a photo and then proceeded to call out That Specific Parrot for various Parrot Crimes, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice.

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

If only there were some sort of facility where teenagers could be taught new skills.

yeah okay ill reblog that :]

If you don't know...here it is.

@massachusetts-official

easier for the owner of LED headlights to pass through the eye of a needle than to enter the kingdom of heaven.

office chair hungry, feed it skirt hems

You wanna let your long skirt get tangled up in my wheels so bad

chair Wheel perfec t size for put skirt in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort skirt not get stuck put hem in Chair Wheel. Put Hem In Chair Whe. no problems ever in chaair wheel because good Shape and Support for skirt hem weak of big skirt hem. Achair wheel yes a place for a hem put hem in chair wheel can trust chair for giveing good love to skirt. friend chair

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

omg she has. one Quastion

inspecting her toes for clues I think

i had a nightmare last night i was at a marina with my friend and there were saltwater crocodiles swimming all around and she said, "don't worry, they won't come up on the docks. they don't hurt people." and i said, "what about that one? does that one hurt people" and she said, "which one?" and my dream comedically cut to a crocodile in the water wearing a Jason mask.

the roblox ceo saying that is an obvious slip, because while it's definitely what he meant as someone who profits directly from unpaid child labour, he's also not thinking that hard about how "all problems are actually opportunities" dialect goes over outside of a board meeting

[staring at the reporter and feeling my veins tighten as my anti-FUD anxiety response activates] actually, at our studio, we prefer to think of it as a child exploitation opportunity