The Real Fake Paul McCartney

Good bitch, I'm glad none of your people have an ounce of loyalty to you

does that suck, mark? is it not fun to have your privacy violated? do you feel uncomfortable with people knowing things about you that you'd rather they not know? tell me more about how much you value your security and privacy, mark.

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

the funniest moment in dungeon meshi is when marcille is having her nightmare and brings up her dead bird while also talking about her dead dad, saying “papa and pipi” and laios automatically assumes pipi is marcilles third nonbinary parent on top of her mom and dad

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

easy life hack for becoming a nicer person: get older and more tired. u simply do not have the energy to deal with drama. u do not entertain the bloodthirsty. don't care too sleeby

conversely, as u get older and more tired, your tolerance for bullshit goes down the drain. u do not have the energy to deal with it. it does not belong. get out. I will not dance around and politely shoo the drama out with a feathery broom I will send a bulldozer at 80 mph

what I'm saying is as you age you walk more and more softly and carry a bigger and bigger stick. this is why the elderly are so powerful btw

y'all need to watch this this pride month

the problem with getting kidnapped by jigsaw is that I'd probably get impatient and start going for it before the instructions played, and then if I learned I was doing it wrong I'd be too stubborn to change my methodology. so I'd be waving around my severed hand like "look, I did it" while he's just like "the key was in the dog. you had to eat the smelly dog to get the key."

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.

we cant make good star wars these days because people dont have beautiful hair like in the 1970s. it just doesn’t work