hi heres the entire twilight movie as a stamp
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Not today Justin
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@kaava
hi heres the entire twilight movie as a stamp

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not an anti or a pro-shipper but a third secret thing (adult with job)
6,500 words, Enver Gortash/Wisteria Jannath, pre-canon. May-December relationship, cw references to sexual violence. M.
When she was young she would have been the centre of a room like this. She was known for the tasteful settings of her balls, the fabulous centrepieces that celebrated the different craftsmen of Baldur’s Gate, the foods imported from far-off shores and, of course, dresses that were made from the finest of fabrics. She would buy out the entire stock so that none would be able to wear the same as her, and hoarded the second-best fabrics too, just in case. The stores at the estate were overflowing with moth-ridden velvets and heavy brocade, decades wearing them into thin thread.
When she was young she was the most celebrated debut of her season. Her first night in society she had offers from Lord Jannath and Lord Whitburn, though she did not give her answers so soon. No, much more fun to let the season run and see if their intentions were serious. She had further offers from Rillyn for either of his nephews after her turn in the emerald green velvet that made her red hair shine like sunlight, and she was lucky to maintain his good favour personally after she pointed out that the best bet was, after all, to become a Jannath. After all, if there was anything Machil knew, it was the importance of good investments.
When she was young the whole world seemed so full of promise. She looks around at the debuts this season. The young Rillyn heiress Yvandre, fair of face and hard as iron, Merrigold Hlath, who unfortunately takes after her father rather than her lovely mother, and that awful Provoss girl Penelope, the second-youngest with a face like a piglet and an ill-advised laugh. None of the girls these days knew what it was to be the head of a house. To be sure, Yvandre and Merrigold were smart women, women she saw great potential in. But it was one thing to be shrewd at business, good fighters, strong investors. A good Patriar should be all of those things, but there is something more, something that should be beyond the teaching of sums and swordplay, and unfortunately she saw little of that in their generation at all.
Read it on Ao3.
auntie Ethel, my beloved 💜
[my piece for the baldur's flora zine]

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On the topic of bg3 though, of course there are a million and one reasons why Wyll and Lae'zel deserve more love from the fan base overall (not just in fandom circles) but probably one of my favorites is that THEY DID ALL THAT SHIT IN THEIR TWENTIES!!! What do you mean you saved the world and started a revolution in your motherfucking TWENTIES??? They out here getting shit done, not perfectly, but they're putting in the work. I love them.
I saw a seal do the banana pose today. I am so happy!
when someone is completely fucking wrong about your blorbo but you don't want to argue about what basically boils down to opinions about shit that doesn't matter so you just sit there like
"that guy's wrong tho"
you get it

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III. Blood
"In Bhaal's name…."
There also needs to be a button for “this is the 5000th time I’ve read your fic because I’m having a horrible day and this is the only thing in the world that always brings me happiness.”
good news: there is!
“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard
the odyssey (2026)

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ok this looks ultra mega based, are you kidding me? can you imagine the bullshit i could get up to with this bad boy? fuck yes i want ten
Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.
Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch
Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are
I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.
"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen
this reminds me of the bing commercials that disturbed the absolute living fuck out of me around 2010
corporations always rape tech to maximize profits and then spend years shaming and mocking customers who fail to embody the lowest common denominator
gramgram is happy paying 2.99 in the ringtone store instead of being able to use custom audio files, why can't we all be as pliant and exploitable as gramgram? what are we, elitist nerds? what are we, liars?
getting aaaaall up in his business