You Won’t Kill Me In Any Way That Matters :)

I WENT PEE AND WHEN I STOOD UP AND TURNED TO FLUSH THERE WAS A DEAD SPIDER FLOATING IN THE TOILET. DID I PISS OUT A SPIDER

I bet it feels good as fuuuuck to slightly draw your sword with all the other knights in anger when a treacherous knave shows their face in the court

if one more person comments on my "we need to keep payphones/public phones" post with "what we need are free phone charging stations and wifi hotspots, like in new york!" i am going to lose my mind. what do you people not understand about "not everyone has a smartphone" and "phones can break". how are these new concepts.

Also, some of y'all are way too comfortable plugging random data cables into your phones.

Like to charge and reblog to cast Chinese scientists destroying the Insulin industry

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

This is especially funny because they aren’t even right. Foxes *ARE* dogs.

No they aren’t.

yes they are. because they are fluffye.

OK yes they are.

Dog

Different family, but same order as @pictures-of-dogs

yeah they’re fluffye

theyre literally not dogs theyre not even fluffy. can we get science tumblr over hear or what!?

fluffye

of course it’s a dog you buffoon. it’s fluffye.

I love that this is literally two completely different arguments running simultaneously.

That guy up there who said they’re not even fluffy was thinking of sharks

sharks are also dogs. ravenous water dogs, but still dogs

Sharks can NOT be dogs they are SMOOTH

Owning a black cat is awesome because you’ll leave the bathroom and The Shape will be waiting for you