The Director leans forward over her desk, her face drawn and intent. βSo I suppose youβre wondering why I called you three in hββ
βActually, Madam Director,β Taako interrupts, βIβm wondering how you got this lavender tea so right.β
The Director blinks. βI simmer the lavender blossoms in a saucepan with water and honey, because Iβm not a fucking barbarian. Twenty minutes, dash of vanilla, the whole thing. Anywayββ
βItβs good tea,β Merle pipes up.
βThanks, Merle.Β SoββΒ
βHold up, hold up. Holllld up.β Taako actually raises his hand.Β βHowβ okay, I mean,Β whatΒ theΒ hell, thatβs exactly how I make lavender tea, howβd youΒ know?β
βI know everything, Iβm the Director.β
βAre you spying on us?β Magnus says, suddenly interested.Β
βI can, uh, no, I canβt confirm that, or, deny, that horrific breach of employer-employee confidentiality. I probably just know that stuff because of all the cool superpowers you get when youβre in charge of a secret moon-based operation.β
Merle waves his hand enthusiastically.Β βHey, whatβs tattooed on my butt!β
βKenny Chesney, which I know on account of you came into my actual office with your whole entire ass hanging out.β
βIt was like three quarters, max,β Magnus says.Β βHey, whatβsΒ myΒ favorite tea?β
βYou think tea is for chumps.β
βIΒ do,β Magnus says, earnestly pleased.Β
βDoes anyone have any non-tea related questions?β
Merle waves his hand again. βDo you know about our secret stββ
βTaped under Magnusβs bed. Yes.β
βAw,β Magnus says to his tea.Β
βFor someone with such extensive woodworking proficiency, I really thought youβd have, like, a secret drawer somewhere,β the Director says thoughtfully.Β
βHey, taped under the mattress is a classic,β Taako says.Β
βItβs very, mm, very college hijinks, reminiscent, very Animal House.β
βBullshit, you never watched Animal House,β Merle says.
βI mayβ I might have. You donβt know.β
βName oneβ name one scene! Just one! Gimme a quote!β
βI donβt have to, because Iβm your boss. Can I get back to telling you about your new incredibly important mission to save the wholeβ basically the whole entire world, already, or do you want to waste more time playing Fantasy fucking Trivia?β
The three Reclaimers look at each other, and then Taako uses mage hand to pour himself more lavender tea.Β
βWhatβs Merleβs favorite tea?β he asks, grinning, and the Director drops her face into her hands.Β
βChamomile,β she says, in the grave, sorrowing tones of one who must bear the unbearable, year after thankless fucking year. βHe thinks itβs sexy.β
baratheonpilled
discoholicmusic
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
andulkaphoto
