Grad student with a caffeine addiction

You literally have to collect rare stones from remote locations, put them into specific formations to work. All of this gets written down in symbols which don't make sense to the uninformed. It gets powered by energy which can not be seen in most cases.

switch from paper to digital or visa versa, or switch it up every couple of weeks

stop trying to make things pretty if it's stressing you out

switch to handwritten notes, or try re-writing your notes after class

change the paper you're using, try a different pen

start using highlighters

try bullet journaling, it doesn't need to be pretty

if a physical planner isn't working, try a digital one like notion

try reading audiobooks instead

look into supplemental material on your class, e.g. crash course

work in a different place

change the music you listen to, i suggest nintendo and chill on spotify

take more/less breaks

Pretend you are taking notes to teach someon3 else later (even make a post about what you learned, studyblrs love hearing what each other is learning!)

Look into digital knowledge systems like Obsidian and start making conscious connections with the notes you take in class (this is called a Zettelkasten system)

Write notes in your own words instead of copying lectures or textbooks, if the wording is important make it a quote and attribute it to your teacher!

IDK I’m just sick of hearing how Business Bros talk and how many people are suckers for it. I want blunt people standing there going “hey, that guy didn’t actually SAY anything, he just strung together a bunch of nonsense corporate words to make you think ‘ooo profit’ but there’s nothing substantial here”

But still interested in feeding yourself? What if I told you that there’s a woman with a blog who had to feed both herself and her young son…on 10 British pounds ($15/14 Euro) per week?

Let me tell you a thing.

This woman saved my life last year. Actually saved my life. I had a piggy bank full of change and that’s it. Many people in my fandom might remember that dark time as when I had to hock my writing skills in exchange for donations. I cried a lot then. 

This is real talk, people: I marked down exactly what I needed to buy, totaled it, counted out that exact change, and then went to three different stores to buy what I needed so I didn’t have to dump a load of change on just one person. I was already embarrassed, but to feel people staring? Utter shame suffused me. The reasons behind that are another post all together. 

AgirlcalledJack.com is run by a British woman who was on benefits for years. Things got desperate. She had to find a way to feed herself and her son using just the basics that could be found at the supermarket. But the recipes she came up with are amazing. 

You have to consider the differing costs of things between countries, but if you just have three ingredients in your cupboard, this woman will tell you what to do with it. Check what you already have. Chances are you have the basics of a filling meal already. 

Here’s her list of kitchen basics. 

Bake your own bread. It’s easier than you think. Here’s a list of many recipes, each using some variation of just plain flour, yeast, some oil, maybe water or lemon juice. And kneading bread is therapeutic. 

Make your own pasta–gluten free. 

She gets it. She really does. This is the article that started it all. It’s called “Hunger Hurts”.

She has vegan recipes.

A carrot, a can of kidney beans, and some cumin will get you a really filling soup…or throw in some flour for binding and you’ve got yourself a burger. 

Don’t have an oven or the stove isn’t available? She covers that in her Microwave Cooking section. 

She has a book, but many recipes can be found on her blog for free. She prices her recipes down to the cent, and every year she participates in a project called “Living Below the Line” where she has to live on 1 BP per day of food for five days. 

Things improved for me a little, but her website is my go to. I learned how to bake bread (using my crockpot, but that was my own twist), and I have a little cart full of things that saved me back then, just in case I need them again. She gives you the tools to feed yourself, for very little money, and that’s a fabulous feeling. 

Tip: Whenever you have a little extra money, buy a 10 dollar/pound/euro giftcard from your discount grocer. Stash it. That’s your super emergency money. Make sure they don’t charge by the month for lack of use, though.

I don’t care if it sounds like an advertisement–you won’t be buying anything from the site. What I DO care about is your mental, emotional, and physical health–and dammit, food’s right in the center of that. 

Here’s an up to date link

Wait... Wait wait wait, let me understand something.

So for this cisgender woman with naturally high testosterone (and/or an intersex condition, I do not know her specific condition and it's honestly none of my business) has to be be forced to take the same testosterone suppressing medications that these same competitive regulatory committee said wasn't good enough to suppress trans women's testosterone to allow them to compete in women's sports.

If she has naturally high testosterone, similar to that that trans women experience in their lives pre-transition then wouldn't she have the same advantages that a trans woman supposedly inherently has and can not be corrected with said testosterone suppression?

Like, no one should have to undergo forced medical treatment to be able to compete or to make it "fair" for their competition. Other athletes have all kinds of natural advantages, like Michael Phelps having an abnormal wingspan and larger lungs and heart. In fact, every high level athlete has some kind of physical advantage, that's how they're such high level athletes. You think the people they beat out for their spots just, what, didn't work as hard? Didn't grab those bootstraps tight enough? Fuck no.

(Idk if she identifies as intersex, she may not even have known she had hormone variations until these tests happened. But the intersex community does allow people with hormone variations to consider themselves intersex given that they experience intersex-based discrimination like this woman is experiencing. So whether or not this woman is intersex, she is still experiencing discrimination based on intersex characteristics.)

Also it's always women of color that are challenged in these rules because their body types don't meet eurocentric white women's beauty standards. Primarily Black women.

I don't think you get it. This is what the terfs want. They want to eliminate all gender variance. They say they support GNC people, but they don't. They just have to say that to sound reasonable.

my mom started watching Love Is Blind on Netflix and kept talking to me about it and I started paying attention to the show in passing and by the end of the season I was full-blown watching it with her and I just have to say

MATT

NEEDS

TO

BE

AT

LEAST

200KM

AWAY

FROM

ALL

WOMEN

the fact that nobody called out his aggression towards Colleen in the reunion episode? the way she looks absolutely terrified of him? how she started shaking when they were talking about her calling another man attractive before and him blowing up about it previously?

NOBODY? NOBODY CALLED HIM OUT?

I am so terrified for her, I'm not even joking

He has a show called Joe Lycett's Got Your Back which explains consumer rights, exposes dodgy businesses and actually fights on behalf of people who have been scammed by those businesses, often successfully.

He also legally changed his name to Hugo Boss in protest of the fashion house Hugo Boss hitting a local brewery with cease and desist because they trademarked the word boss. The protest was successful and Hugo Boss receded the c&d.

He's a cool guy and I recommend looking him up. I also recommend looking up the notable cases from JLGYB on the Wikipedia link below

Queer: A Graphic History (Meg-John Barker) - want a primer on queer theory but don't have the time and money to, you know, take a semester long class on queer theory? might I introduce you to this graphic novel written by nonbinary psychologist Meg-John Barker, who's written several other nonfiction books on gender and sexuality that I can't recommend enough.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Becky Chambers) - warm and fuzzy slice of life sci-fi, with lots of cool aliens and travelling between planets. a very queer-friendly universe with lots of exploration of gender and sexuality, plus a cute side romance between a human lady and a kickass lizard woman. all three sequels are hugely recommended, as are Chambers' novellas.

How to Find a Princess (Alyssa Cole) - a Black f/f retelling of Anastasia, featuring a reluctant long-lost princess falling for the investigator tasked with tracking her down and bringing her back to the royal life. I'm told it includes such beloved tropes as fake marriage and only one bed!

In the Vanishers' Palace (Aliette de Bodard) - gorgeous f/f Beauty and the Beast novella, told as a post-apocalyptic story that seamlessly blends science fiction with Vietnamese mythology. a dragon takes a young woman away from her village, intending to have the young woman serve as a tutor for her two young children, and - wait for it - romance ensues.

Black Water Sister (Zen Cho) - a closeted Malaysian lesbian is haunted by her deceased grandmother, a medium who served a mysterious entity called Black Water Sister. grandma has unfinished business with a Shady Corporation, and her granddaughter is going to help her get retribution whether she likes it or not.

This Is How You Lose the Time War (Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone) - a novel that will make you YEARN. following the letters exchanged between assassins Red and Blue, agents on opposite sides of a conflict that stretches across multiple timelines. the two women start as rivals, but become something more to each other very quickly, with absolutely zero chill.

The Death of Vivek Oji (Akwaeke Emezi) - warning up front: as the title suggests, this will not have a happy ending. but the novel offers a touching account of a Nigerian family struggling to make sense of an adult child whose gender and sexual expression baffle them, and the impact of that child's death on the entire community.

Alice Isn't Dead (Joseph Fink) - adapted from the podcast of the same name, this novel follows a Black lesbian trucker with bigtime anxiety as she hits the highways of America to search for Alice, her missing wife. along the way she's going to discover a lot of creepiness, and some skin-crawling conspiracies.

River of Teeth (Sarah Gailey) - absolutely buckwild romp of a novella following an alternate history heist crew of hippopotamus riders, including their bisexual leader and his nonbinary Black demolitions expert love interest.

A Dowry of Blood (S.T. Gibson) - admittedly I haven't read this book yet and don't know a TON about it, but what I DO know is that it's a spin on Dracula that makes the infamous brides a polycule, which is simply fantastic if you ask me.

The Case of the Mysterious Letter (Alexis Hall) - a Sherlock Holmes pastiche following the adventures of one Dr. John Wyndham, a gay trans doctor, and Shaharazad Haas, a freewheeling pansexual sorceress. takes place in a universe full of magic, eldritch horror, and luridly entertaining oddities.

Hunger (Roxane Gay) - not a lighthearted rec, but a truly stirring one. Gay recounts her life as the queer daughter of Haitian immigrants, and how her relationship with food and bodyweight was forever changed by a childhood sexual assault. highly recommended reading for anyone looking to increase their understanding of the violence of fatphobia.

Wow, No Thank You (Samantha Irby) - full disclosure, Irby is one of my personal favorite essayists of all time, but it's well deserved - the bitch is funny. in her third and most recent collection, Irby mines the humor in moving from Chicago to live in a small city (the same city as me, incidentally) with her new wife and two step-children, plus the highs and lows of working on a show like Shrill.

Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel (Julian K. Jarboe) - a collection of extremely queer, cyberpunky short stories, heavy on the critique of capitalism. you might know them from this tweet; now support their fiction!

How We Fight For Our Lives (Saeed Jones) - poetic memoir, focused on being a gay Black boy growing up in the south, growing up and moving away from home, complicated maternal relationships, grappling with masculinity.

The House in the Cerulean Sea (T.J. Klune) - the softest m/m romance you ever will see! a nebbish social worker for magical creatures is sent to inspect an unusual orphanage whose occupants include a slime monster and the literal baby antichrist, and inevitable ends up falling for their passionate caregiver. you will cry, reader.

Phoenix Extravagant (Yoon Ha Lee) - a nonbinary artist just trying to mind their own business gets hired to paint magic symbols on enormous dragon mechas, which seems like a pretty sick gig - until they realize they're now complicit in supporting an imperialist war machine. uh oh...

In The Dream House (Carmen Maria Machado) - difficult but absolutely riveting memoir recounting the author's harrowing relationship with an abusive girlfriend. also check out her collection of creepy short stories, Her Body and Other Parties.

Winter's Orbit (Everina Maxwell) - m/m space opera romance, including: political intrigue! murder! arranged marriage! begrudgingly working together with your new spouse to solve a murder so that you don't take the blame for it! and... MORE!

One Last Stop (Casey McQuiston) - new release alert! a young woman moves to New York, develops a crush on a hot lesbian on the subway, and then finds out that lesbian is actually a displaced time traveler from the 70s. hot damn!

She Who Became the Sun (Shelley Parker-Chan) - a historical fantasy retelling the founding of the Ming Dynasty, following an ambitious child who enrolls in a monastery to pass as a male monk. sounds like your typical Mulan-style "cis girl pretending to be a boy," but Parker-Chan says the protagonist doesn't strictly identity as female and that they consider her to be genderqueer.

Feed (Tommy Pico) - epic poetry (the whole book is one long poem bro it never ends) by a Kumeyaay writer, with a focus on reconnecting with lost culture through shared meals and food so evocative that it made me learn to cook.

Witchmark (C.L. Polk) - you guys, this one has everything! a gay man on the run from his influential family, a hot love interest who needs him to help solve a dramatic murder, exploration of magic-based social inequality, critiques of imperialist war, and chase scenes that take place on bikes. the sequels, Stormsong and Starsoul, are equally queer and lean even more heavily into themes of radical social reform.

Sorrowland (Rivers Solomon) - a young queer Black woman escapes from an isolated cult and tries to live a peaceful life in the woods with her twin children - only to discover she's developing some pretty fucked up superpowers.

The Jasmine Throne (Tasha Suri) - you might have seen me mention this one as part of my Hot Book Summer, since it's an upcoming June release! do you like epic fantasy, f/f romance, and princesses working together with secret priestesses to topple empires? oh BOY, then do I have a book for you!

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir (Kai Cheng Thom) - modern fairy tale about a teenage martial arts prodigy who runs away from home, joins a vigilante street gang to protect trans sex workers (!!!), and finds herself™ along the way.

Space Opera (Catherynne M. Valente) - okay, so you know Eurovision? great, now take Eurovision and put it in space and if Earth loses our whole planet is going to get blown up, and our only hope is a washed up queer singer from a punk band that hasn't been cool for years. good luck!

Dear America: Notes From an Undocumented Citizen (Jose Antonio Vargas) - an excellent memoir from gay journalist and immigration rights activist! Vargas recounts coming to America from the Philippines as a young child, growing up unaware that he had entered the United States without documentation, and the community that helped him in the uphill struggle to live a visible public life as a writer.

The Chosen and the Beautiful (Nghi Vo) - remember Jordan Baker from The Great Gatsby, and how she was definitely a lesbian? Vo says not only is Jordan queer, she's also an Asian-American adopted into a wealthy white family and she has magic powers.

Common Bonds (edited by Claudie Arsenault, C.T. Callahan, B.R. Sanders, and RoAnna Sylver) - an upcoming anthology of stories centering aromantics.

The Natural Mother of the Child: A Memoir of Nonbinary Parenthood (Krys Malcolm Belc) - it's exactly what it sounds like, babey! a recent memoir by a nonbinary individual about the experience of carrying out a pregnancy and giving birth to a child.

¡Hola Papi! How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons (John Paul Brammer) - if you aren't already reading John Paul Brammer's hilarious, heartfelt, and self-proclaimed "deranged" advice column, checking out this freshly published collection is a great place to start.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex (Angela Chen) - one of my favorite pieces of recent queer nonfiction, following the writer's acceptance of her own asexuality as she navigates the stereotypes and stigma that plague the ace community.

Finna (Nino Cipri) - a buckwild novella about a pair of coworkers who a.) just broke up and b.) have to go on an adventure to find a lost customer in an interdimensional furniture store.

The Unbroken (C.L. Clark) - if the first list didn't include enough anti-empire queer fiction for you, here's another one in which a princess and female soldier forge a fragile alliance while working opposite sides of society to end a war.

Gender Euphoria: Stories of Joy from Trans, Nonbinary and Intersex Writers (edited Laura Kate Dale) - compiled by trans lesbian and video game journalist Laura Kate Dale, enjoy this collection of euphoric stories from folks all over the gender spectrum.

Hunger Pangs (Joy Demorra) - more queer vampires, folks! in this one, a dashing captain is assigned to an island full of vampires and finds himself with some Feelings about, and I quote, "the local vampire dandy lord." a nice touch is that you can choose to purchase the book with or without sex scenes included!

The Traitor Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson) - more anti-empire fic, following a queer girl with a prodigious gift for numbers seeking to destroy the empire that colonized her homeland and killed one of her fathers from the inside out, by burying herself among its highest-ranking officials.

Bingo Love (Tee Franklin) - SUPER cute comic series about an elderly interracial lesbian couple, tracking their relationship through decades :)

Star Eater (Kerstin Hall) - okay so we have (checks notes) a lesbian taking out an order of cannibal nuns? cool!

Burning Roses (S.L. Huang) - a fairytale reimagining that throws Little Red Riding Hood and Hou Yi, a legendary Chinese archer, together as a pair of crotchety, aging queer women who have to come together to slay the monsters ravaging their country.

The Thirty Names of Night (Zeyn Joukhadar) - a contemporary novel about a closeted young trans man from a Syrian American family trying to solve the mystery of his mother's death, and what is has to do with the journal of a mysterious woman who painted rare birds.

No Man of Woman Born (Rewoven Tales) (Ana Mardoll) - I'm just gonna quote the blurb directly from the author's website, because it slaps ass: "a collection of seven fantasy stories in which transgender and nonbinary characters subvert and fulfill gendered prophecies."

Luisa: Now and Then (Carole Maurel and Mariko Tamaki) - a graphic novel in which 32 year old struggling photographer Luisa encounters her 15 year old self and struggles to deal with her past, while also grappling with her attraction to a female neighbor.

Skye Falling (Mia McKenzie) - a middle aged queer woman who's spent her life going it alone is contacted by the 12 year old child who was born from an egg she donated in her 20s, kicking off a complicated contemporary story about family.

Little Fish (Casey Plett) - a trans woman discovers that her grandfather - a dead and deeply conservative Mennonite - may have also been transgender, and goes looking for the pieces of his life while she and her own friends grapple with addiction, sex work, and mental illness.

Glitter + Ashes: Queer Tales of a World that Wouldn't Die (edited by Dave Ring) - an anthology from Neon Hemlock, focused on tales of queer folk surviving various ends of the world against all odds. features C.L. Clark, who's also included on this very list, and countless other incredible talents.

Jonny Appleseed (Joshua Whitehead) - a two-spirit sex worker and self-described "glitter princess" is called back home for his stepfather's funeral, and spends a whirlwind week navigating how to walk the line between his life in the big city and the reservation.

fantasy isn't really your thing? no worries, here's an even longer list from the Rumpus with everything from contemporary fiction to poetry to memoirs.

hold up, did you want romance? BookPage has your new queer romance recs right here.

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)