ok well im going to build a good future for myself whether i like it or not
literally this
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@student-journal
ok well im going to build a good future for myself whether i like it or not
literally this

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December 12, 2022
Revising for the test that I have this afternoon ✌🏻 Wish me luck 🤎 Same for you if you have exams this week!
I saw an article called “Make Peace With Your Unlived Life” and it really made me stop and think. So much of our lives is mourning for what we didn’t become. It’s a waste. We didn’t waste any opportunities. What came and went was not meant for us.
I bought some Wordsworth books while I was in the Lake District and just completely forgot about them for over a month.
Keep calm drink coffee and keep on Studying 📚✨

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@academia-lucifer
08.01.22
bookstore + reviewing
advice for university students who have a hard time getting work done aka the things that my ADHD-having ass needed 3 fucking semesters to learn :
1. go to class. GO TO CLASS. yes, even if the lectures are recorded. yes, even if you have other work you really need to do right now. you will fall behind if you don't and it will suck. next time you have class you will think, "I can't go to class today because I still haven't caught up with the material from the previous class" and then you'll do that several times and then you'll haven fallen really far behind and it will really suck. when you show up to class, keeping up with assignments will just naturally follow.
2. do not try to get work done in your room. it will not happen. no matter how much you don't want to leave, you have to do it, you have to leave. go to a library, or a cafe, or even just a different room in your house/dorm if you don't want to change out of your pjs (and even if you're one of those people who *can* get studying done in your room [couldn't be me], separating the environments you work in and relax in will feel so much better, i promise!).
3. go to office hours. if it's one of those STEM class office/peer tutoring hours where lots of people are being helped at once, it's especially important that you go. the material is designed to be challenging and you're not expected to be able to do it on your own. it's also a great way to hold yourself accountable to getting the work done on time. literally just put on some noise-cancelling headphones and work on stuff there until you have a question.
4. start on your big assignments EARLY. working on one essay or project and almost nothing else for 2 days straight leads to burnout. start at least 2 weeks in advance, and work on it everyday for just an hour, maybe 2. setting time-based goals is key here. it makes the assignment feel less intimidating. it's easy to convince yourself to work on it even if you don't want to because, hey, it's only an hour. once you start getting bored or frustrated, it's not too hard to power through, since it's only an hour. and if you're getting super distracted and really struggling to focus you can switch gears to something else guilt-free, and then return to it tomorrow with fresh eyes and a fresh mind.
5. inevitably, you'll fuck up. you'll do poorly on a test, you'll miss an assignment, you'll not understand things you're learning in class, you'll get nervous during a presentation. some days, you might not even fuck up necessarily, you'll just feel bad. when it happens, take a step back. acknowledge and honor your emotions. you might feel sad or disappointed or ashamed. treat yourself with kindness and compassion. try not to judge yourself, recognize that your feelings are natural and normal. take care of yourself like you would take care of a friend who was in your position. do some easy assignments, then wrap up work early. eat something, talk to someone or journal about it, do some cleaning, take a shower, and go to bed early. maybe it feels like you shouldn't because you have too much work to do, but trust that addressing your heavy emotions is more productive than just powering through. personally, if i don't do this, the feeling of shame lingers in my subconscious and i spiral for several days. like, don't get out of bed or eat or do any work kind of spiraling. perhaps the consequences are not as material for you. regardless, honoring your emotions and treating yourself with compassion is a life-long skill that is always worth practicing. your mental health will thank you for it.
As someone with ADHD who works at a uni making accommodations and arrangements for disabled students I'd love to add a few things if I may!
find out what help your university can offer you, regardless of whether you're diagnosed or not. Having a paper trail of you reaching out goes a long way and you'd be surprised what help we can offer to people.
find out who your department contacts are and explain your issues and what you're doing. Secret tip, if you act like your method of working and contact is totally normal, people will assume you've always done it this way and typically roll with it.
Find out ahead of time what the university's policies are on exceptional circumstances (like missing a deadline, not showing up to an exam, etc), imagine that you're playing legal defence for a friend rather than yourself. This way it stops you from catastrophising if things start going bad, and you won't have to rely on a stressed out future you finding things out when you don't have the space to do it.
talk to the admin staff nicely and be honest with them. talking on behalf of me and my coworkers, when someone comes in upset and genuine or just sweet and friendly we're going to bend over backwards to help them. People who call me up and lie to my face about shit I can look up *on that call* or lie about my coworkers, not so much.
remember that you're not alone. we get so many students who have known they have difficulties for years and been working with them, but a tonne of people who had been coping until the academic level of their work jumps and it all unravels. as much as you might feel like you're the only one falling apart and finding it hard I promise you that you are not.
on that note, take up any free counselling that your uni offers you, you're going through a big life change and dealing with a huge change in routine and support system! that's hard on anyone, but especially disabled people!
finally, and I cannot stress this enough, academic performance is not everything. i talked to a woman on the phone recently who was trying to figure out what had gone wrong for her son who had totally bombed a whole year. she couldn't understand how her bright boy who loves history just couldn't seem to hack academic history. i told her that there's more to life than academic performance and her son is still smart, she agreed and said he could talk for hours and hours about history. i pointed out there were lots of jobs that needed that over being able to write an essay well, and she admitted that a friend's kid had got an internship at a tech company and she said he was 'very autistic and terrible in school' (her words) but he fit in immediately and solved a big problem they'd been struggling with, and they hired him right off the bat! there is space for people who don't fit the standard that we're told to meet. our departments are full of researchers that are brilliant but can't manage their own calendars, or write professional emails, or their science is wonderful but their people skills aren't. neurodiverse people are everywhere and it's not all about performing the same way as everyone else, so don't feel bad if you can't do what you're 'supposed to'!
it’s all so quiet
夜散歩のススメ

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December 4, 2023 - Wednesday | Winter 15/88
I severely overestimated the amount of energy I would have when work started again 🥲 These past two days I have taken naps after work. You would think a job that just requires speaking wouldn’t take that much out of you but I think as an introvert with a limited pool of ‘talking in public energy’ my classes end up using it all up 🥲 lmao I have so many ideas ! But I’m too tired to do any of them *yawns* maybe tomorrow.
been waking up early to practice my algebra skills before heading to work...
December 6, 2023 - Friday | 17/88 Winter
Today I spent hours sketching but couldn’t get myself to paint. After 4 PM I made up my mind and tackled an old painting I had abandoned and it came out really well: I’m so happy with it! From sketching, genshin-playing, podcast-listening, painting, checking up on one of my disciples, to suffering from sound pollution, and posting a reel of my painting - a 7/10 roller coaster of emotions day that ended on a good note, Alhamdulillah ✨😌
dropping by to remind you that it is okay to:
♡ not have it all together
♡ not feel comfortable with the people you love 24/7
♡ not feel like doing anything at all
♡ feel upset at yourself ( just don’t dwell on it for too long! )
♡ feel angry / irritated / unhappy
♡ be tired
♡ take a break for yourself
🤍 you are loved / heard / seen / wanted. 🤍
with love,
ying.
Day 11: Do you have any hobbies or special talents?
Yes, I like drawing and playing videogames. I’m just not good at them lol
I like music too and I’m currently really into SEVENTEEN
I don’t think I have special talents. But I can tell apart SVT members just by their shadow or silhouette. Embarrassing, but also kind of impressive tbh

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[ 11. 14. 22. ] Skeletal Trauma
I finally got a new phone! I accidentally left it out in the rain in a rush to get inside and it fell out of my pocket. 😭 Thankful it stayed alive a while longer.
I totally forgot about my Interdisciplinary class assignment and lost 150 pts like that 🙃 But after using the grade prediction, I can still finish the class with an A so I’m working on it!
the love is ongoing!! happy new year friends
(@chloeinletters on instagram)
Happy new year to all. The bad year is over. The love is still here!!!!!