i made up my mind to live happily

The pool scene in Gideon the Ninth goes like this: Harrow: *explains the elaborate 4D chess game she's been playing to earn Gideon's trust and regard* and everything has gone horrifically wrong. You're my only friend; I'm at your mercy. Gideon: *does not know how to play even 1D chess* *was under the impression they were playing a totally different game.* *possibly whiffle ball, or a game called "Harrow hates Gideon forever"* Holy shit.

trying to explain the tlt relationships to people is like. okay so jesus is in love with a genocide baby haunted by mother mary in a sword and mother mary had an affair with the angel gabriel and also stole a sperm from god with a capital G by having his angels have a threesome with him and also lesbian cain and abel are there and cain is in love with the genocide and sort of abel too. on the normaler side we have the don quixote girl who is in a pride and prejudice situationship with a librarian and his guard dog

"that’s not actually Crown’s boyfriend, Nona, it’s her sister, but I don’t think anyone could blame you for getting confused" is a wild line and it's describes their whole t h i n g with terrifying accuracy but the best part is how everything becomes even worse after

like say what you will but basically what's happend to ianthe is she's spent her entire life playing second to her sister while working twice as hard than she ought in order to compensate for corona's lack of power. while receiving no recognition for her feats of necromatic power. she finally becomes lyctor and is immediately upstaged by cythrea then harrow. gets her ass beat by the former and spends the next book playing second to the latter who's literally gods special favourite pseudo-daughter now. despite the fact shes's more defective than ianthe. oh and then. ianthe chooses god. chooses to be his last loyal saint but oops! his real daughter shows up. so. ianthe still isn't the most interesting or important person in the room. one of the two things she wants the most. plus her shitty coworker is throwing a temper tantrum in her skull this whole time cause she ate him. i'm just saying she's having a shit immortal life so far

Reading Gideon the Ninth and I’m not convinced these ‘lesbian necromancers in space’ are ever going to make out, say they love each other or actually date. I’m getting the sense they’re going to spend all four of these books being utterly deranged in a hundred different ways that have never been done before in an extremely disturbing and lesbian fashion. This is not a criticism, I am very much on board for more of this, btw.