afraid & happy

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

advertising lemonade is pointless. the human body already knows it needs it

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

it's called a ball python because it is a python(🐍) that ball(🟠)

They’re making a day when things can be better and they’re calling it tomorrow

as a human my ideal way to die would be something quick and painless in a national park at a very old age. as a bug my ideal way to die would be being accidentally crushed by a little girl playing outside and cried over and buried with a leaf headstone

unclean = adj. of or pertaining to uncles

this used to be the oldest bar in texas until they built an older one

I actually love the song Yankee Doodle because the lyrics seem like complete fucking nonsense to modern ears. you hear it as a kid and it's like oh dope the Wiggles made a sequel to Jabberwocky. but you look it up and "Yankee Doodle stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni" is actually 18th century British for "Americans all want to be hipster twinks but they're too poor and stupid to do it right." and to top it off Americans in general were just like "this is unironically a bop"

y'know i don't really love how people use "butch" interchangeably with "handy"

*north american approaching lesbian couple* so which one of you is useful and which one of you is the woman