afraid & happy

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

👻

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

happy too tired July everyone

probably the one where I show up at his doorstep with a black eye and he opens the door in boxers and a white tank top and he leans against the doorframe looks me up and down and says you just can't stay outta trouble can you and I say I'm here ain't I and he says proves my point and I say fuck off and he chuckles and says get in here you're lettin all the air out and I follow him in and we sit on opposite ends of the same couch and he mutes the tv which I can't help but notice is playing a recording of one of my matches and he drapes an arm over the back of the couch and regards me with head tilted back kinda just showin me his jaw you know and he goes so what is this and I go gimme a break this ain't exactly easy for me and he says last time I see you you punch me in the gut and tell me to shove my ass up my ass which is impossible for the record and now you show up here lookin like you just went twelve rounds and I say maybe I did and he says how was it and I say you know how it was and he says I wanna hear you say it and I huff and say not the same and he says I think it looks good on you and I say would look better on you and he says I can give you more and we realize how close we are to each other and then he leans forward and I lean forward and we do kiss and then it's like all hell breaks loose and we're all over each other and minutes turn to hours turn to nights turn to months and before he knows it we're at the altar dressed to the nines and he's telling me I'm the best bad thing that ever happened to him and one of the bridesmaids wipes a tear from her eye and he cups a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me close and that's when I hit him with a right cross BAM works every fuckin time

I was confused you see.