Tony Used to Eat Cheeseburgers

the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.

sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.

evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.

sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.

evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.

errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.

grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.

#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.

schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.

amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.

Typing this from Graphene now, in fact. But, both of those take the Android Open Source Project, without all the bloatware--and largely de-Google the whole thing. They give you much more control over privacy and what the apps you choose to install can do and access on your phone.

I know Graphene sandboxes everything, including the optionally installed Google Play Services which a lot of apps unfortunately require to run. (Lineage uses an alternative to Play Services instead.) So, you can install what would normally be unacceptably intrusive apps and just lock them away from pulling any funny shit with your data, or phoning home. Including the couple of Google things I do still keep around.

I also prefer running much more transparent, privacy-respecting open source apps where possible. Besides the transparency, I'd rather avoid the shitty tech corps entirely where I can. There are pretty good alternatives available for a lot of the usual suspects.

An alternative app store:

THANK YOU.

I’m honestly glad I was not the only one skeeved out by this because honestly - I’ve been wanting to say it for years, but I was always terrified that someone would say I was just reading into it too much.

I mean…let’s be frank (especially if we are talking about parallels to rape/sexual assault):

Tony was a playboy - he was not shy about his drinking, sexual history, or lifestyle. He had garnered a reputation for it. While fun loving and a good time kind of guy, he makes sure that consent is present during any liaison.

Here’s Obediah - this huge wall of a guy, acting like a friend and mentor. It gives him an in to be close, touchy-feely under the guise of a friend. Tony trusts him, hence why the closeness doesn’t bother him. That’s just how Obie is! Right? Right….

Tony has a traumatic encounter that changes his entire life….and no one takes him seriously. Pepper, Rhodey, Obediah - they are all guilty of trying to tell him that he just needs to sit back and get over it/get his mind straight/threaten to walk out on him because they think he’s crazy.

Huh….what does that sound like? Sounds like dismissal - a regrettably loathsome reaction many have towards victims of trauma and while not malicious (except for established douchebag Obediah), it can make bad situations worse and gives Obediah the perfect in for Tony’s downfall (the injunction, claiming it’s for his own good, all that jazz…exerting a shit ton of power over Tony and simultaneously trying to strip Tony of what power he has left)

To make matters worse - the scene itself where Obediah assaults Tony: Tony is alone. He is vulnerable. Obediah overpowered him, incapacitated him, but left him fully aware of what was going on. He penetrated him without consent (the mechanism literally punched in and pulled his “heart” out), gas lit him to hell and back by using not only his own past but his father’s past to justify his treatment bring “deserved”…..and then leaving him broken and for dead.

The reason a lot of people didn’t view it that way: we don’t normally see a man - especially an outgoing superhero type - being stripped of his agency in a brutally visceral manner. Its s shocking scene to begin with….but it gradually gets worse when you put it through the lens of a rape victim.

(yes i spent way too much time making that.)

When Tony gets back from Afghanistan, gets out of the car with the burgers, Obadiah has at least one of his hands on him the entire way into the building. As someone else mentions – he buttons up tony’s shirt which - yeah tony has a busted arm, but he unbuttoned it relatively easily – so the creep factor still applies. and then you’ve got the other examples too. Also the fact that they’re business partners//mentor/mentee//father/son dynamic …. and obadiah deadass calls tony shirtless. like i dont know much about grown men but im pretty sure thats not that common even among friends. 

and anyway if we look at the other characters who touch tony in this movie, it’s rhodey and pepper and christine. Tony in this movie doesn’t initiate touch nearly as much – he usually reacts to it (e.g. even though he’s the ‘playboy’ christine is the one who takes the lead in sex. rhodey is the one who initiates almost all of their contact, etc). after this movie that changes. You can definitely see him start to initiate almost all touch, except with pepper and rhodey (e.g. him poking bruce, him slapping steves hand off him, but putting one on steve). this is definitely a way of asserting contol over a situation – idk if the writers did it purposefully…probably not, but it is interesting. one could argue, i suppose that afghanistan/torture is the cause, but….i think him being scarred by obadiah is more likely.  

also, Obadiah used tony’s name. A Lot. We don’t really think about it bc with the Avengers it’s always last name, last name, last name. (the ones who call him tony are easy to notice – fury, pepper, rhodey, sometimes steve). But Obadiah uses Tony’s name a lot more than seemingly necessary. And we all know calling people by their first names is a way of acknowledging them as a person, but also it also indicates familiarity/fondness aka a bond. Someone compiled a video of it. 

I’m actually quite upset with Pepper in this scene because Tony sees Justin approach and whispers to Pepper “Don’t leave me” and she still walks away. 

At one point Justine is literally leaning on Tony and Tony mutters “god that’s awful” as he tries to pull away. Putting his sunglasses on so that no one can see his eyes.

It is only a few minutes later that we see Tony testing his blood for toxicity levels and decides to take over driving his own car in the race. This could just be seen as an attempt to just be reckless, but it is also a desperate need to assert control over something when he just escaped a moment where he was once again stripped of his choices and support by the people around him. 

Cause I’m always shocked when Obadiah calls Tony in Afghanistan, and he’s

half naked

in bed

calling Tony m’boy!

I’m always appalled. This always struck me as flat-out harassment, exactly the insidious kind you don’t know how to report, cause men can be topless, right? and it was a business call? and nothing lewd was said, so I guess it’s not really harassment?

And Tony reacts exactly the way women do, which is playing it off like a joke even though you know it isn’t. “Why aren’t you wearing those pajamas I got you, lol?” It’s funny now, right? He knows I’m uncomfortable and that I sort-of called him out for being shirtless on a business call? That’s surely enough, right?

Obadiah exists in that nefarious little sludge-hole of deniability of harassment, and that’s what makes him such a disgusting—and incredibly significant—character.