i can't paint all that. it disgusts me.

i have to post stupid shit that isn't funny or interesting sometimes because i don't want my posting gland to get impacted

(taking bart by the shoulder) lisa is your sister... you should advocate for her. raise her up

(losing consciousness) did my show used to be good? it feels like a figment of my imagination

our idiotic ancestors used to believe stuff that's not true but luckily we've now figured out all the true things to believe in

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball

Ranking all my tumblr mutuals from most to least likely to put me in a nefarious contraption

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws