Layton For Smash Ultimate

IT'S OUR BEST JOKE EVER

PSA: tumblr user littlefuckinmonster is stealing human bones from cemeteries in Louisiana. Please don’t let them get away with this and spread the word/signal boost!

this post is officially a decade old now

For anyone who wasnt around when this happened, this was real. Littlefuckinmonster was actually stealing bones from cemeteries. She is the bone stealing witch. She was specifically stealing bones from poor people. She was arrested for it.

Not only did the user in question get arrested, but 4 months later, the state legislature passed the Louisiana Human Remains Protection and Control Act, created specifically because people heard about this case and realized there weren’t any clear laws about who has what right to own human remains and who enforces those rights.

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on you for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

tomorrow i have to give my daughter’s pikachu plushie gender-affirming surgery

Fuck this job man, I sentenced this guy called Theseus to life in prison for murder and then I get a call from the prison that he has systematically replaced every organ in his body including his brain and is now claiming he is not the same person who committed the crime. They are letting him go free, fuck this. Worst of all is he also then took all of the parts that he discarded and made a second Theseus who is also claiming he did not commit the crime and they are also being let free. Now there's two of them out there and you just KNOW they are murdering people and then having gay sex. I fucking quit man...

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

also if gnomes were all sitting around a small tree stump using it as a table and someone used the word "misnomer" one of them would speak up and go "HEEHEE. MISS GNOMER IS WHAT I CALL THE MISSUS" they'd all laugh so hard they fall off the mushrooms they are sitting on and spill the berry juice everywhere

The trouble with chasing after recs for fucked up media is that a lot of allegedly fucked up media is enamoured with the idea of being fucked up, but it's not actually fucked up about anything. The form is there, but not the substance. However, there's no way to communicate this to anyone who doesn't already Get It without sounding like a maniac.

having used tumblr as a teenager is a vaccination against using tiktok today

i realize you’re probably half-joking but legitimately having this level of control over what i see on my dash and not having the popularity of my posts determined by The Algorithm makes using tiktok feel like my body is fighting a Disease