ST1X ͜ ◞ ྀི ♪ ࣪

So over the weekend, i remembered a minecraft series i used to watch back in covid. I was really into Dollastic's content and her minecraft series were all phenomenal so i wanted to support her collaboration in this project called "My Hero Origins": a mha inspired rp. It had multiple perspectives of each and every character present and showed various stories. Back then i thought nothing much of it but now that its been 6 years now and im actually old enough to understand stuff: i can say its REALLY complicated and well done.

Right now, im watching from the character im going to talking about's perspective: Rikku, a 15 year old trans girl with a quirk called explosion. Im talking about her because i remember the transfem jax fiasco and wanted to share to light actually good rep while talking about the rp that get such lil love...

From the very beginning - even before she transitioned - she stated that she was heavily bullied for having interests in "feminine" stuff in her small town, influencing how she interacted with all the other students in Monarch Academy. This reflects the very nature of homophobia and gender norms: how many kids and teens are considered "weird" for not fitting societies boxes. She was so excluded that the only person she could confide to freely was her mother

Before leaving: She asked her mother if she could ask for a change of uniform from male to female, as the male uniform felt tight on her and wasnt as flowy and elegant as the female uniform. This sets up a little goal for Rikku to overcome: last in the male uniform until her mom's next visit. She looks at all the other girls and genderfluid people in their female uniform and cant help but inspire to be in their place, like her partner Shizu or her close friend Yuuki. When she does eventually get a change of uniform: she is so overjoyed and feels more confident in herself: getting the approval of her friends and her mother. Sounds a lot like satisfying the gender dysphoria in her heart and kickstarting her soul searching

She then realises that she hated going by he/him, and began her process of transitioning: asking Yuuki for her old small clothes to wear and coming out slowly, taking an entire episode each for each person she came out to: her friend, her roommate and her lover (and eventually to everyone else but i havent gotten that far rewatching) The process of getting to this point is slow but actually present in the series. They dont gloss over trans experiences to get to the final point, nor does the creator reveal it OUTSIDE OF THE SERIES. From the beginning it was clear as day she was going to struggle with her gender and the show uses the episodes they got to flesh her out

Even the other characters are amazing trans umbrella rep. Her lover - Shizu - is a genderfluid person who came from a prestigious household keeping their polarity quirk pure by marrying quirkless men. The females are the ones to get the quirk and Shizu is often referred to female terms by their nutsuck-of-a-mother and in turn, makes them hate using feminine terms when upset. HOWEVER, their father, always kept validating them. He used the pronouns they wanted, even if it always changed with no problem. He used feminine terms positively, resulting in them liking pronouns like she/her when happy. The show uses such a unique way of expressing their gender by correlating it based on their mood, which is reflected by their eye colour: Red only (happy) for she/her, blue and red (neutral) for they/them and blue only (sad) for he/him. This ALSO matches their quirk of magnetism, which is beautiful

My point is: its not that difficult to represent your own community in a way thats present in the show and in a way thats deep, as being trans is entrenched with a persons experience: how they experience life. This thing was made in 2020 yet it had writing that should be the average norm of 2026

Im sorry if im being annoying but I will say this again: JAX BEING CONFIRMED TRANSFEM OUTSIDE IN THE SHOW ISNT GOOD WRITING. Jax wearing a bow isnt a hint towards being trans. Jax wearing a maid dress isnt a hint towards being trans. Those are just feminine things that anyone can do

Goose had the money and the resources to hire more writers to develop this idea but CHOSE to write it all by herself and then moan about how the fandom is mad that she couldnt represent her OWN COMMUNITY with the respect they deserve. There are so many more excellent trans-rep that could be used to critique Jax, but i wont talk much more about this topic as im dragging it a lil

So for the past 15 months ive been on tiktok: ive truely realised how much of a cesspool of toxicity and stupidity it really is. As much as the content is 10x more interesting and engaging: the people who reside there have to be some of the most miserable people that shouldve been aborted

Im that type of person who - when seeing a take i find idiotic - will argue with people until either they or i cant do it anymore. For example: i argued about how a creator cant just hc Robin as African-American just because of the fact that she had jazz elements (not even fully based on jazz btw) in her music only while hc sunday as european even though they are bio siblings.

I get angered VERY easily and hold onto that rage for a day or 3. And shitty, insensitive and/ or uneducated people make that anger worsen. And they are all found on tiktok. I cant stand tiktok antitheists, tiktok christians and people who dumb down real life issues to prove a shallow point like the Afghanistan women or Palestine

So as a result: i began to start blocking people. Like wdym i dont need to talk to people who think my very existance is a contradiction, i dont have to indulge lack-luster takes and i most definently dont need to hold you to high regards anymore. Whenever i see an antitheist - imidiate block - and then im spared from all those 14 y/o white girls who keep projecting in the comment section while not truely knowing the lives of the minorities they claim to "care about" so much

Now that TADC has ended, theres been a lot of discourse surrounding the end of the series and about how gooseworks handled her characters. I wanna deep my own 2 feet into the water, although my opinions arent that different from the general consensus, ESPECIALLY REGARDING JAX...

Episode 9 was mid and it really let down a LOT of the fanbase. The good parts include almost everything AFTER jax's abstraction. i like how the revealed their irl identities with instagram: it felt personal. I also love how the cast, specifically zooble, told caine straight up that their trust has been broken and would take time to heal. Speaking of caine, i liked his lil sequence in general.

However with the good out of the way: let me get to my critiques about it and the franchise all together... THEY FOCUSED WAYY TOO MUCH ON JAX. Goose stated that each character would get an episode to themselves, however ragetha didnt get one entirely and zooble only got 3 minutes while jax got ep5,6, a lil of 7 AND 9. If gooseworks treated all the eps like ep3 and 4 then this wouldnt be a problem.

The ending tries so hard to justify jax's shitty personality with "but she accidently killed her mom", while ignoring the fact she drove 2 of her friends to technical suicide. She was too developed but not in a way tht seemed profound but in a way that is shallow: like goose is just thrusting all her life story and person onto jax instead of letting her exist as her own character. The fact that shes her self insert really says A LOT about her as a person. The show also left major things unexplained like raggy's mom, where each of them wore the headset and why, the blue ai, why zooble hated their avatar, the headset company, the exit door and SO MUCH MORE. ALL of those things where briefly mentioned but not expanded on bcuz goose HAD to glaze the hell out of jax

And this whole thing about her being transfem was so RANDOM. the WHOLE TIME: she was basically abusing all the females in the circus: kinger nor zooble got treated the way ragetha, gangle and ribbit were treated. The quote-on-quote "hints" of this are just feminine things that ANYBODY CAN DO/WHERE: she looked so distraught in the maid dress, her room (which is based on all their insecurities) was feminine which contradicts the transfem idea and the bow was just a gift. Goose - a TRANS WOMAN HERSELF - should know better than anyone that being trans is a lot more than what i just described. if anything: transmasc jax wouldve been a LOT BETTER for her character

Goose is an unprofessional racist who cant handle her fanbase and her show. her tweets from back in the day to now are APALLING, cuz wdym you dgaf about YOUR SHOW being leaked, and then blaming the fandom for it. If you hate your fandom sm then DONT ENGAGE WITH THEM, as half of them are MINORS.

Its rlly sad how this show fell from grace. its first eps were good, the cast (besides jax) was likeable and i even relate to ragetha, but gooses favoritism and unprofessionalism caused its ruin.

So im watching assassination classroom and i just finished season 2 ep 6, and i have a LOT to talk about:

It was a terrible episode, lets get that out of the way, but im gonna share my why as ive always felt personally about this opinion

1st of all, Koro-sensei was a damn hypocrite the whole time. You cant be scolding the kids when you ACTIVELY want to blow up the earth in 4 months. You cannot be speaking

2nd, Its seriously unfair that the kids that didnt even participate in the accident get slapped and sent. Some didnt even know of the incident until they were all sent. You cant say this isnt a punishment when you make them do this before midterms

SPEAKING OF MIDTERMS: you cant just forbid them from studying during this period. and later shown, their marks DROPPED. THATS SELF SABATOGE! you cant expect them to do this while excelling in their grades KNOWING the school sees them as the bottom of the barrel. Youve basically have undone all the progress they made and effected how highschools will see their marks as those r important

Like if i was forced to not study for midterms cuz some idiot classmates got in an accident and instead babysit children for 2 weeks so i could bomb my exams: ID BE LIVID. im so shocked that nobody was mad about that

Ive been with technology as long as i remember. I have a TV in my room, had numerous tablets, got my 1st laptop during covid and my 1st phone at age 13. Because of this, i was naturally exposed to the internet VERY early on.

Back then it was just something i use as a passtime, but over the years: it became a safe place for me. It comforted me when i loss my best friends (TWICE). and when i was having numerous existential crises in covid about life and religion. It allowed me to discover so many interests of mine and engage with likeminded people, unlike school and home where no one understood anything i say, which become CORE parts of me. And it allowed me to truelly show my emotions: my frustrations, my anger, my fear, my hate, my love, all emotions i wouldnt express at all in reality as i put up a lot of fronts. I dont need to be this mature responsible older sibling that does well in school and doesnt cause a fuss and lives a typical boring life: i can be exciting, release my sadness, fear, anger, hatred, joy and opinions without the looming threat of hurting anyone, my parents yelling at me or losing all my friends. I can become exciting, vocal and interesting whenever im online

I feel like the internet has become part of me in a way. take it away and im basically nothing and nothing is interesting. Nature is boring as hell and its not like i can easily make friends that stick and dont side-line me and leave me alone when we grow up. The web has always been a constant in my life

Its gotten so bad that i HATE it when people moan about how terrible social media is and glaze the hell out of reality. If reality is so great then i wouldnt be as messed up as i am, then i wouldnt be as lonely as i am. Im not magically going to forget about my mental issues by frolicking in the fields, nobody is gonna start understanding me the moment that happens. Youre just an old loser contributing to the problems of teens drowning their sorrows online. if you want us to get off our phones: create a space where we can be free to exist

As a veteren "x reader" fanfic reader, ive come across countless of fanfics over the years. Im especially picky with what i read so i choose fics based on plot premise, aesthetics, writing style and ofc: DESCRIPTIONS

This introduces my main complaint about the "x reader" fanfic community: WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO DESCRIBE Y/N AS IF THEYRE A WHITE WOMAN?!

Im black, i want to read a good fanfic where i can fit my features on a blank slate PERFECTLY without any issues. No i dont have pin long straight hair, why are you describing a literal blank canvas with those terms.

Authors need to realise that poc people wanna simp for their favs too, and it immediately takes us out of the story youre trying to tell when you make it seem like y/n is of a specific ethnicity due to descriptions. Thats why terms like (S/C) and (H/L) and many more like it are important as they truely allow the reader to insert themselves as themselves and not as an oc

Theres a reason why fics that specifically make y/n poc are present (even tho i dont read them), because generic fanfics fail to give a universal experience, so we turn to our own means.

Okay so theres been a LOT of discorse about these things in the community for a while now, and because its pride month: i think i should talk about my personal opinions on them

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT HATING ON ANYONE WHO USES THESE, IM JUST EXPRESSING MY THOUGHT ON THE CONCEPTS*

so about Microlabels - I personally think microlabels are okay as long as dont contradict (so no lesboys im sorry) and if they serve a specific function that cant be described by another label exactly. There can defo be variations like Demiromantic and thats fine. I, myself, technically use a microlabel - being omnisexual with a male preference. So in all, im pretty chill about them rlly

Now for the controversial one, Xenopronouns - I said xeno specifically because all xenopronouns are neopronouns, but not all neopronouns r xenopronouns, and i generally have no issues with neopronouns like xe/xem because they r made up words that dont already use pronouns. Now that being said: I dont understand xenopronouns. Ive thought about them for a while and i PERSONALLY cant wrap my head around them: youre using a noun that already falls into a specific gender identity and pronoun, wouldnt it be much more helpful if you created a completely new word describing your identity to the tee, how is this going to translate into real life conversation as i stutter alot and isnt it giving transphobes amo to make fun of you? Despite this: i dont hate anyone who uses them at all. Even if i dont understand them, pls use whatever you want to feel comfortable however I dont think ill be able to have a conversation with you properly because its hard for me to use smthing i cant understand, i stutter A LOT and I NEVER want to misgender a person: whether i get it or not. So for the sake of my sanity of not overthinking and your right to your gender identity: please block me. it will do us both favours and its the HIGHEST lvl of respect i can offer u

So before i start: Happy pride month! In honour of it beginning, i want to share a something thats been running in my mind

As yall know, Im a queer Christian, nonbinary and omnisexual (male preference) and because of that combo: my whole existence is considered taboo

From the religious end, i hear people say online "you cant be both" or "its a sin" or "its not natural": the usual stuff. It doesnt hurt as bad anymore because its still a heated debate there and i can defo disprove those comments with ease

On the other end in the LGBTQ community: i have seen remarks of "yall do know your religion is actively oppressing you" or "youre just like normal religious people" or "i dont get how people can be religious and queer". Those comments are alot harder to deal with since they come from a community you would expect acceptance from. Even if you do hate religion (cuz obviously religion has been used to persecute), you have to realise that we also got it tough, being on the edge of 2 worlds. but i guess not

Im tired of people telling me that i cant have my ideals, cant believe on something or accept my gender identity because im the other thing. I feel like we arent accepted anywhere and are literally the trashbag of both side's grievances, which is why i want a space for queer religious people and queer religious people alone. We are the only people that can understand us and out struggles, no matter what religion you follow and what you identify as.

Im a person you would call "a goody-to-shoes", not a teachers pet pur se but i really find it annoying whenever people purposely goof off during class

I mean, whats the point: youre wasting the teachers time and youre putting yourself at a disadvantage when it comes to your education. you lose valuable information that could help you in tests, for what: a JOKE? I find it inconsiderate of them whenever they do stuff like this cuz NO: i dont wanna hear you giggling the whole time, i want to get through the lesson in peace

And the worst part is that they suck up to the teacher as if they werent the cause of all their issues. stop acting like youre a good student when you clearly dont care about how you behave in the lesson. you arent getting browny points for that, you just look pretentious

In my business class, these group of boys cant shut up to save their lives: always wrestling with each other and making weird noises and they then proceed to ask my teacher (who is a total sweetheart) about her personal life as if that isnt breaching professionalism: shes your teacher, NOT YOUR FRIEND. my friend got so mad at them that she made a remark of wanting to shoot them (she usually makes jokes like that and THEY KNOW SHE ACTS THAT WAY) and they highkey made it a big deal saying "___ wants us dead!". you cant be whining about that when you were yapping on trying to ask out my other friend and acting like idiots. i deadass wanted to say "i would want to shoot you too if im being honest."

So heres a thing about me. Im DEEPLY loyal, so much so that i consider it a flaw as i get stuck on the past of a person and refuse to let go, even when they eventually move on and find people that understand them now.

Because of that, i honestly yearn for a person that 100% gets me, somebody who will stick with me even when time change. Someone i can truely be myself with without putting up fronts of censoring myself so that i dont lose friends

I dont care who they are, a partner of a friend, i just wish for someone to be as attached to me as i am to them (as i have really bad abandonment issues and attachment issues), i just want someone who i dont feel like im competing for their attention. I have felt like a third wheel in most of my friend groups and even at parties

Okay so i may sound like a huge hypocrite here but as of recently, the tiktok yumeshipping/selfshipping community has been really pissing me off.

For context: I love reading "x reader" fanfiction online since age 10 during covid, i read fics of multiple fandoms of tumblr, wattpad and quotev and i love interacting with fic comments. I consider myself a casual but veteran selfshipper who knew my way around in a (relatively mellow) community.

But ever since selfshipping rebranded to yumeshipping (or maybe it was always called that idk) a whole bunch of new people have come along and terms i was never aware of emerged (again, maybe they were always there, idk)

People put their focus onto ONE character in ONE fandom (which is okay though i dont rlly get the restriction as you can find many characters hot)

But my actual issue is mainly how HOSTILE some yumeshippers are to their doubles and im appalled, disgusted with that behavior. some nonsharing yumes are okay (even though i may think youre a lil strange) but the amount of toxic nonsharing and voidsharing in general who DESPISE their doubles for ever having the gaul to like the same character they do. Its not okay for you to harass and straight up DENY the existence of others for PIXELS. We are separating and dividing ourselves over same interests and its sad. I automatically think of sans fangirls back in 2019 that didnt know the difference between reality and fiction.

Now maybe im just being a lil ass, but the concept of "sharing/non sharing" itself also doesnt make sense to me. Ive always felt like self shipping was a personal experience where you'd do it solo but when you meet someone who also selfships we would talk about our experiences and bond. this is why the phrase "doubles dni" annoys me because you are essentially blocking off so many you couldve bonded with, and also that is virtually impossible since the algorithm literally shares your content with people who might wanna view it, which INCLUDES DOUBLES... but again thats how my brain works and you do you ig

So yeah, thats my gripes about the community. i feel like we're spacing ourselves away from each other due to fictional character, both in fandom spaces and in reality. Half of the community acts like sans fangirls but if they did this with EVERY character to exist. And i get it, it can be a really healthy coping mechanism and hobby, and im all for it when they know your yumeship is fiction and/or wont be canon. Im a selfshipper myself! (i REFUSE to use the term 'yumeshipper' on myself) but when it deters in delusion, thats when it becomes an issue

Ever since i was a little kid, ive never really loved books. I would take them out of the library if they had a cute cover and trace over it since i liked the illustration on the cover. I tried actually reading one of the books i would trace... and got bored really quickly. Until grade 8-9, we would have this period called "media" where we had to pick a book to read for around 25 minutes and later 50 in grade 7. Most of the grade found it as a waste of time, me included as we werent even allowed to do homework, only reading.

English teachers love praising how novels are exciting, that you get smarter and that every person should be reading in their spare time and enjoy it, which i find that stupid. Sports are good for you, they help develop team building and a healthy body yet a lot of people dislike it and dont participate in it. How its so acceptable for a person to say "I dont like sports and exercise" yet when a person says "i dont like reading much" people say they are stupid and they "havent found the right book"

I find it very difficult to understand what authors are trying to convey as they use such cryptic descriptions and have such a round about way of saying things, and then im expected to say "i took a lot out of this book". If youre going to use such descriptions then at least have some pictures so i know what to imagine. And before i get replies saying "do you need extra time in school" I am an A student, have been since grade 4 and my vocabulary is actually pretty huge considering some people in my grade dont know what simple words like "inquire" means

I get more story out of manga and video games than from books (which is a whole other topic) and the idea of sitting with 300 pages of paper isnt exciting to me and booktok needs to realise that

Now this ONLY applies to reading novels as the people who like them are some of the snobbiest people ive ever interacted with. Reading for an educational level is important as many require that and literacy is an important skill to have, not many get that opportunity so of course im going to read articles and textbooks. Manga are Comics are obviously cool and have illustrations to back up their story (and their pricing) and fanfictions are just novels but better, written by simpletons like me about things i actually enjoy in a way thats understandable. So no Margret: im am most likely not going to magically love reading one day, for every one good book i find, there are 10x good games and comics i stumble across

yeah so i felt like redesigning all my banners and stuff cuz i just felt like designing. i always wanted to make stocking my main sprite cuz she's just so sprite-able. And just so yall know: IM NOT RE-EDITING OLD POSTS 2 CHANGE HEADERS because 1. Im too damn lazy to and 2. Im the type of person to change stuff often so im just gonna leave it incase i decide to rebrand again.