If thanos even breathes teen grootâs, buckyâs, peter quillâs, or peter parkerâs direction I will find a way to jump inside of that movie and beat that barney lookinâ ass so quick
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@srgtjamesbarnes107
If thanos even breathes teen grootâs, buckyâs, peter quillâs, or peter parkerâs direction I will find a way to jump inside of that movie and beat that barney lookinâ ass so quick

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saw a comment on the thor ragnarok trailer saying âi hope people realize that this is not an accurate representation of norse mythologyâ and iâm like oh shit did thor actually not fight the hulk while jeff goldblum watch in his pajamas in norse mythology??? damn i got it all wrong im such a dumb idiot
Peter: (àž'Ì-âÌ)àž (àž'Ì-âÌ)àž (àž'Ì-âÌ)àž (àž'Ì-âÌ)àž (àž'Ì-âÌ)àž
Tony:Â No
Peter: okay sorry
Peter, quieter this time: (àž'Ì-âÌ)àž
Tony: fighting is not the answer here
Also Tony: *hears Peter is in any form of danger whatsoever* (àž'Ì-âÌ)àž (àž'Ì-âÌ)àž (àž'Ì-âÌ)àžÂ (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àžÂ (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž (àž'Ì-'Ì)àž
Reblog if you miss Alan Rickman.
Brilliant actor he will always be missed
For those who want to watch it!! Do it before Marvel catches it! Haha @thatawkwardtinyperson @imagine-assembling-the-avengers @topkay @avengerofyourheart @mindingmyownbusiness @bovaria @just-call-me-mrs-captain @papi-chulo-bucky
AAAHHHHHHHHHH @buckysberrie @sebseyesandbuckysthighs @buckyywiththegoodhair @sebstanmoviesandtv @steverogersnotebook

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I have long said that in order for any comedy to truly succeed as a story, there has to be meat beneath the jokes. There has to be that moment when it is not funny any more.
This. This is that moment.
#honestly even though this is one of the best scripts there ever has been  #that is the greatest line  #itâs /groundbreaking/ in terms of how it frames vengeance quests; temptation beats; inigo as a comedic figure throughout the movie  #you know because this is a happy book (film) that inigo will get his revenge  #but will he get JUSTICE  #will he get ABSOLUTION  #will he get CATHARSIS  #those are the things we donât know  #and that line sells it more than any of the previous scene (x)
i loved you first
âą Use the hand you write with.
âą Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If itâs tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side.
âą Donât be like in the moviesâdonât aim for the face. Face punches donât usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on their jaw. If you want to get away quickly, or end a fight, aim for the chest, or the ribs. If you really want to do some damage, e.g., youâre being attacked, aim for the throat, which will make it hard for your attacker to breathe for a hot minute.
âą When you punch, you want to aim and hit with your first two knuckles. Not the flats of your fingers, and not your ring or pinky knuckles, which can break more easily. You can use your weight, if youâre on your feet, to add wallop, and spring into a punch with your feet and torso.
Useful information, esp. if you havenât taken self defense.
I reblogged this once before to add this and Iâll do it againâŠ
keep your wrist straight.
You can also risk breaking your wrist if you allow it to bend. Â I actually canât believe this isnât in there.
Other good pointers:
if your attacker is male, go for his junk - especially if heâs wearing loose pants. Thereâs no sportsmanship when it comes to assault so fuck them balls UP
punching pretty much ANYWHERE in the face is going to actually hurt you a LOT (just think - youâre punching your bones into their bones and ow). If youâre going for the face, my suggestion is to strick upwards with your palm.
see that meaty portion highlighted in red? Thereâs a lot of muscle and fat right there which makes it excellent for striking. Hold your hand as shown and aim for the nose or chin (though Iâve been told in extreme circumstances, doing this to the nose can be fatal but Iâve never really heard if this is true or not) and just aim upwards
other delicate areas:Â
the shin (hurts like a bitch if you kick it right - also, you can hit this spot if youâre being held in a choke-hold and if your attacker has to move in order to stop you from kicking him, heâll have to angle his body so as to expose his stomach and crotch to the wild spastic jabbings of your elbows)
the solar plexus (either jab while holding your hand in a sort of spear position or use your elbows - unless youâre super strong, your punch probably wonât wind your attacker. Your elbow or a spear hand will, however)
Originally in (most) martial arts, you hit the solar plexus because it supposedly contained an important chakra. Now we know that it actually also contains like a bunch of necessary organs that are exposed just below your ribs and is also (roughly) where your diaphragm lives so getting punched there is not pleasant.
the clavicle (from experience, getting hit in your clavicle HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. If you strike downwards with your knuckles, the person might just cry. Like I did.)
the ear (this is probably the best place to punch besides the throat. Itâs all cartilage so it probably wonât hurt you all that much and most people will be like âDUDE YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE EAR WHAT THE HELLâ)
the kidneys (this is harder to hit without training but if you somehow get your attackerâs back to face you, try to hitâem in the kidneys. Again, from experience, this FUCKING HURTS. You canât really hit the kidneys from the front with any effect but from the back it is super painful)
if youâre held in a choke-hold, try turning your head so the forearm isnât pressed into your throat. If you can position yourself right, you can sort of force your chin into the crook of the elbow, making you able to still receive (limited) oxygen and provide time for you to kick some shins or elbow some spleens and shit
-Also, remember that a guyâs junk is not an off-button. Donât think that you can rely on a swift kick to the balls to immediately incapacitate him in an emergency. Adrenaline and anger can keep somebody going for a long time even through extreme pain, and if you expect to end a fight with a single groin-attack you might be caught off-guard when he doesnât drop. Certainly go for it if you get the chance, but keep hitting him until the fight is over.
-Draw blood if you can, especially if you can draw it from the face or the eyes. Blood in the eyes is not just a good way to impair your attackerâs vision, itâs also a really good way to freak them out and let them know that they might be getting more than they bargained for by picking a fight with you.
-Elbows and knees are really powerful weapons. Elbows are very sharp and very strong and if you are in close-range they are often more effective than trying to throw a punch.Â
-Yelling and shouting makes you scary.Â
Nothing much to add to this, itâs pretty much all there. So. Reblog. Oh, also, itâs really easy to break a nose - go for the eyes too. All it takes to avoid a shot to the throat is tucking your chin. Also, that part about the ear - donât punch. An open hand over the ear hurts a lot.
Tumblr teaching me how to fuck a bitch up
Also if you fuck up their face itâll be easier for police to identify the attacker.
If someone gets you from behind and you cant punch them, go for the underside of the upper-arm. A bad pinch there is legit so painful because that skin is super sensitive. Also this cant be stressed enough, if the attacker is a guy then fucking rip his junk off.
When throwing a punch:
reblog to save a fuckin life
âI love the tune of this song but hate the gross lyrics. What should I do?â
âBut I like both old and new songsâ
âI also like polka?â
This man is a treasure.
Weird Al:
1. Is very cautious about the effect of his works, apologizing whenever he does something even a tiny bit offensive on accident.
2. Asks for permission from the creators of the songs he parodies, even though he legally doesnât have to.
3. Â Is a straight-up genius; he skipped two grades and graduated at 16 the valedictorian of his class. Â He went to CalTech.
4. Â Is often upset by the fact that any parody of any song is usually mistakenly attributed to him, espeically the dirty ones because heâs careful to keep his music safe for all ages.
5. Â Is a genuine A+ human being, 10/10 would recommend.
6. Is everyoneâs goofy uncle.
Weird Al the goofy uncle we donât deserve. But the goofy uncle we need.

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I need to talk about the fact that Buckyâs still got his right hand 100% free and could be punching Spider Man into next Tuesday already. But he still stood frozen, looking shocked as all fucks and lemme tell you right now that that was not because someoneâs managed to block his metal fist because lbr the metal arm was never unstoppable before, especially when super-enhanced/-equipped people are involved â so basically he doesnât take that punch cus heâs actually just now able to hear the other guyâs voice and it clicks that this is just a fucking k i d
#THANK YOU SOMEBODY FOR SAYING THIS OTHER THAN ME#LIKE THANK FUCKING CHRIST SOMEBODY REMEMBERS THAT THIS IS A GUY WHO STOOD UP FOR ITTY BITTY STEVE SINCE CHILDHOOD#AND NOW HE HEARS THIS ITTY BITTY VOICE AND IS LIKE#FUCK ITâS A BABBY I CANNOT HIT THE BABBY HE IS SMOL WHY IS HE OUT RISKING HIS LIFE WHERE IS HIS GUARDIAN RN#WHY IS HE NOT IN SCHOOL FFS
Those tags. ^^
(Also I think the concept of BANTER during a fight is 100000% foreign to Bucky and heâs not sure how to process it!!!)Â
Bucky totally adopts this smol not Stevie kid who is too full of fight me to not back down. Iâm surprised he didnât immediately wrap him in a blanket, throw him over his shoulder & then march up to Tony & lecture him about the responsibilities of caring for smol morons who are made of fight me. & Peter just sits there on Buckyâs shoulder all confused while Steve starts defending smol Stevie & smol not Stevie & Tonyâs just lost & wondering when this went from a battle to a parent teacher conference. @bolontiku @ryverpenrad @ms-potts-to-you @misshyen @pegasusdragontiger @ghostsergeant
âAnthony, you must take better care of your smols. They are smols, and their anger is too much. They are smols and they take on too much of the world until youâre having to kick a guy in the ass cause heâs picking on your smols. This smols nearly has all the âfight meâ of my smols and that is terrifying. You..must..care..for.. Smolsâ
âSmols mean well but theyâre dumb as rocks when it comes to self preservation. What is it with Starks & their inability to care for smols? Howard let Stevie jump out of a plane with no parachuteâ âbucâ âshut up Stevie, you may be tall but youâre still smol, you just have more fight me, if that is even possibleâ ânow, as I was saying Anthony, I know you donât have much experience with smols but you have to watch them. 1 day theyâre fighting in back alleyways & the next theyâre breaking into POW camps wearing a STAGE COSTUME!! *points* SHUT UP STEVIE!!! Now, weâre going to quit this stupidity because Iâm to damn old for this & weâre going to go teach you how to care for smol moronsâ
*Bucky turning on his heel to talk with Tony, Tony following,âŠ. Peter is still slung over Bucky shoulder he looks at Steve* âCAP HELP ME!â *Steve shrugs and puts his shield on his back and goes to collect his âsmolâ⊠Being Wanda*
Lol Clint throws Natasha over his shoulder because theyâre each otherâs smol (it scares the others to see this but they see Natashaâs smirk so they just refuse to acknowledge it) & Rhodes, Sam, vision & T'Challa just look so lost while antman squeals & runs after them & the others quietly follow still looking unsure.
Scott, being Scott, tries to be Samâs smol⊠He even shrinks himself. T'Challa finally says something like âWhite people are strange.â Sam âTell me about itâ Scott, seeing Wanda with Steve goes an says âwait, if Captain America is the Winter Soldierâs smolâŠ. And Scarlet Witch is Captain Americaâs smolâŠ. Does that make Scarlet Witch WinterâsâŠ.. âGrand-smolâ?â
So Scott runs over & launches onto Natashaâs ass & starts debating smol lineage & the others get freaked out when she just debates him on it
Wanda just smirks up at Bucky and whispers âgrandpaââŠ.. And if she doesnât stop Bucky is going to snatch her up and put her on his other shoulder right next to the STILL very confused Peter
Thank You! Thank You for everything. Thank You for all songs, thank You for your beautiful voice, thank You for all great concerts, even if I wasnât there to see you live. And now, I donât even have a chance. Iâll miss You forever. Weâll all miss You forever. Always and forever. Thank You for everything.
Iâm so so heartbroken. Thank you Chester for everything. He was a big inspiration and a great person.
Fanfiction Club: The Rules
This idea came to me when I woke up first thing this morning.
SUCH TRUTH
Yes.
I LOVE THIS SO HARD
I have never wanted to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. more than I do now
Onward, my plaid steedâŠ
Real men wear kilts and carry kitten in their kilt pouch thingies.
If youâre not reblogging a kitten in a sporran, thereâs something wrong with you.
âThereâs a pussy in ma sporran!âÂ
@ladyoftheteaandblood  @crazypurpleoctopus
So thatâs whatâs in them! @lordjohnandtom
@meleedamage

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Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide.Â
Couldnât scroll
I donât give a fuck if this doesnât suit your âthemeâ have a heart and reblog.
Reblogging again because itâs necessary.
Keep it going. đ„đ„
this remains one of my favorite posts of all time
@aubzylynn