Mitch McConnell has been sent to a nice farm out in the country where there's lots of open space to run around and lots of other senators for him to play with
can we send him to the glue factory instead
$LAYYYTER
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.

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@avengerofyourheart
Mitch McConnell has been sent to a nice farm out in the country where there's lots of open space to run around and lots of other senators for him to play with
can we send him to the glue factory instead

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Step 1: Remove filters in Reflecting Pool because Obama put them in.
Step 2: Give your criminal neighbor who runs "Greenwater Services" a $20 million no-bid contract to paint the pool.
Step 3: Fill the pool with water from the Potomac River, the phosphates from which cause algae blooms.
Step 4: Freshly sealed pool and extreme heat result in a super scum event
Step 5: Direct National Park Service to dump hydrogen peroxide into the pool which causes the paint to peel.
Step 5: Deploy US National Guard to stop people from taking photos of the swamp as a perfect metaphor for the administration.
you know I never put it together that he built his platform on draining the swamp and then like went and made a swamp and now refuses to drain it
I love vague labels that make people go "but that's confusing" or "but that could mean anything" Good. Keep guessing lol
"Queer doesn't actually tell me anything" who says I wanted to tell you anything. Who even are you.
these women did wonders for the “i’m single and i like it that way” community… i’m having a sexy ass life!
Little fish eats his foods
(Source)
this is so sad he doesn’t even know there’s a double barreled shotgun pointed at him
Pacific spiny lumpsucker (Eumicrotremus orbis)
His Foods :) 👍

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The serum amplifies everything that is inside, so good becomes great; bad becomes worse. This is why you were chosen. Because a strong man who has known power all his life may lose respect for that power, but a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows compassion. Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are, not a perfect soldier, but a good man.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEVEN GRANT ROGERS (July 4th, 1918)
That Captain America Healing Factor is all well and good until someone on the team has to pin Steve down and re-break his arm because they didn’t splint it in time and it healed wrong. Until they have to dig a knife into his face and pull out glass fragments that his skin healed over in five minutes flat. Until he has to have surgery wide awake because no anaesthetic works and the only other option is a leather belt between his teeth and useless platitudes like its going to be okay Steve, I promise, it’ll be over soon.
Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!
happy too tired July everyone
Official graveyard post

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do not come to my notifs with ur fuck ass harry potter username
The writing is the fun part. The doing is the point. Yes writing is really hard and frustrating at times but when you get in flow state and type furiously for an hour and then come up for air having finally put on the page what lives solely in your head?? Priceless. An incredible feeling. AI will never give you that. In fact it’s making you less of a writer. You’re not practicing & getting better, just outsourcing to a theft bot. Pathetic. Fuck AI to death.
i was the exception to the rule. i should be the ambassador of the american dream. i did it all right.
we were dirt poor. my parents sacrificed a lot so i could be in an area where the schools were exceptional. we all bootstrapped. i paid my own way through college and grad school. i have student debt, but not a lot of it. it took me a long time and a lot of jobs and working and connections and luck and all of it.
now i make good money at a good (remote!) job with pretty good health insurance. I have vision and dental. they even offer pet insurance and 6 free meetings with a therapist. i work with an exceptionally sweet manager, i like my team, and i don't mind the job. i make much more than some of my friends.
so why the fuck can't i afford to eat.
i looked it up. ten years ago, my current salary would amount to 106 thousand american dollars. it was "well over" median wage.
my position's base salary (according to what i could find) has only increased by about 3 thousand dollars. after all, the work has not changed drastically. estimates say that for me to live "comfortably" in this city, i'd need to be making 139,776 dollars a year, before taxes. i am making half of that.
i always bristle when someone on the other side says something about how we just don't want to work, how it's really about me and my failure to succeed. that i need to be pushier, flashier, better; and then capitalism will work out for me.
in the car yesterday, she said that america is probably fucked. that the amount of damage trump is doing to america is largely permanent. i have difficulty arguing with her. prices went up during the pandemic, and then they just - stayed there. i want to believe in the inevitable rise of the human spirit (you know i'm an optimist) but the truth of the matter feels like a smeared handprint - i have no proof it gets easier.
elon musk becomes or unbecomes a trillionaire. we spend billions of dollars in a pointless war. health insurance companies kill people in cold blood. ai "takes over" jobs; assigns you a random number score for your resume so you are automatically rejected by the system. you're fired to make more profit for the shareholders; they rehire someone else for half of your pay. the government spends millions of dollars to destroy national monuments. the white house needs a ballroom. the fbi just posted that they can preemptively arrest someone for domestic terrorism for "extreme" beliefs about america. when i went to go check my facts about that - i found that the this fucking government website has an email sign-up popup that covers the entire page & i literally could not figure out how to close it.
so yeah, the price of eggs is not going to go down. the cost of RAM is not going to go down. why would it. in the free market, without regulation, all the companies really need to worry about is how else they can bleed a stone.
sometimes when people my age make fun of gen z or gen alpha for being unwilling to work; i think about the lie we've been telling them. because i am not an unusual case. so fucking many of us did it "right". so many of us put our heads down and agreed to the terms and conditions. this was how you do it, right.
almost none of my friends own a house. all of us are in our 30s.
it's apocryphal and likely didn't happen as written, but the myth goes that when Marie Antoinette was told that the general population was starving and had no bread to eat; her chipper reply was so let them eat cake.
there's a 250 foot ferris wheel breaking down on the national mall right now. i can't afford gas, but whatever. our nation's birthday is coming.
i am told to keep trying. do the impossible. solve the puzzle, open the portal. coupon your way to success, high yield savings, skip the coffee break. hustle harder, show up early, leave late. the problem is you, right. it's how you're living life. just keep going!
look forward to the cake.
kiss your screen every time you see a typo or grammatical error in my fics because it means it's home grown and not some ai bullshit and im dead serious about this

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crazy that no one has posted that one football gif on tumblr yet
i suppose i’ll do everything myself
NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.