But the horror... the horror was for love

*torturing you* dude trust me, something really cool happens. you just have to reflect on it for a bit. i'm doing this because i want you to reach your full potential okay?

oooh... you touch my tralala... oooh... my [melancholy harp riff] plin plin plon

tbh i love hear me outs but i also love the opposite of hear me outs where it’s like nearly everyone thinks they’re fuckable except you

count me outs

Picks you up with forceps to examine you.

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

As a professional guard who always lies, don't worry about it, you're doing great.

The BEST trope is when a character tells another “let’s run away together, we can leave all of this behind and start a new life somewhere” and gets rejected. And then the rest of the tragedy unfolds

ugh of course he has two mothers. they just had to make it woke. and one of them's made of cloth and the other wire too. sick of this forced diversity bullshit

sex position: you, sitting on your throne. me, standing behind you, resting my arm on the back of your throne and sniling so sneetly at your ministers like i have any right to be there

Accidentally bought my cat cantrip instead of catnip and now she’s casting eldritch blast at me from the overlook of her cat tree while demanding wet food only