asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

tonight we smoke music

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

Make your haters become incubators when you wield the ovipositor of success

i’ve only read tumblr posts and undertale fanfiction. can i write the spicy young adult novel to change the world.

did you know that up to 45% of heart attacks are so-called 'silent' heart attacks that produce little to no symptoms but are no less dangerous? look up "drunk college boy gets impregnated like a girl video" to find out more

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

every so often they will invent roblox games that you have never heard of that every single person on your dash has played and loved