FUNHOUSE

40/550

wait i just found out you can be nice to people and be their friend i thought we had to kill them all cause i was raised in a lab to be a living weapon

its so fucked that people will be like "yeah i stopped smoking weed because it made me feel like everything was fine, which made me do less" like ok so your primary motivator was fear.

i stopped because it made me think i had mind control powers and i started seeing peoples tattoos as spiders crawling on them

You did have those powers and you lost them permanently because of your weaknesses

my milk and cookies are lost media

HAPPY BIG TWENTY NEIL

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,