I bite.

I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."

As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.

Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.

A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.

As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"

Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.

You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.

It was not.

It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.

And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.

This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.

After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.

None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.

With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.

Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.

"Phyllis," said he.

The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.

"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"

Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.

Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.

In 2021, Swarovski (the company that makes the very sparkly crystals you see in certain jewelry, on figure-skaters' twinkliest outfits, on red carpet dresses), decided they didn't want the grubby fingers of small-time jewelers, clothing designers and costumers and crafters on their shiny beads and rhinestones anymore. They decided to limit their sales to "luxury" and couture creators, not girls who sell stuff on Etsy. The tenor of their press release on the subject was snide and insulting. Resellers (like your favorite bead shop) would no longer be allowed to carry their product; the average Jane on the street would not be able to purchase them. You could only get them if you had an authorized business agreement that bound you to very strict brand behavior. And those of us who still had good stock of the crystals would no longer be "permitted" to use the brand's name in our listings for sale.

Every bead shop and craft supply place and many, many small clothing makers--wedding shops, prom and dancing dress suppliers, the sort of salt of the Earth mom and pop time machines of shops that are the backbone of the field--scrambled to find something that could replace them. The last of the stock dwindled quickly, all of us grabbing what we could get while there was any chance of it, and then it was gone and we no longer had any access.

I was Big Pissed about it at the time. It was just so goddamn stuck-up, when wholesalers and indie jewelers had made them so much money, when some people I knew--when *I!*--had been brand-loyal for decades. But with no recourse, everyone pivoted fairly quickly, most of us to Preciosa Crystals. Those are Czech, quite sparkly, and considerably less expensive than Swarovski. The faceting method they use is different, but not worse; any differences are hardly noticeable when you're seeing them as a hundred pinpoints of light.

Well, out of nowhere, Swarovski just dropped this: https://www.harmanbeads.com/swarovski-brand-policy-update

"Effective June 1, 2026, Swarovski updated the distribution and brand usage policies introduced in 2021. Businesses may now purchase Swarovski Crystals without signing a Brand Control Agreement, and Authorized Distribution Partners may once again sell Swarovski Crystals to resellers, including bead stores and online retailers. Businesses may also use the Swarovski brand name when following Swarovski’s Proper Use Guidelines. Designers, manufacturers, artists, brands, retailers, and resellers are now eligible to purchase Swarovski Crystals through authorized distribution channels."

They want us back. A lot of the companies who could have kept a brand relationship with them also have swapped to Preciosa, over the last half-decade, in solidarity with indie creators and out of a sour awareness that it could be them, next. And it doesn't hurt that Preciosa was able to expand their line quite a bit now that everyone who wanted sparkle had no choice but to go to them.

And I'm not seeing nearly anyone who intends to return. The feeling is, "Y'all told us to fuck off! Off we fucked! And now, that's what you can do, too!" I'm seeing a lot of "How many of us did you stab in the back?" comments from the people whose money they're hoping to attract.

Carpet wool, as the name implies, is a term for the wool from sheep specifically, intentionally bred for centuries to produce wool that is ideal for carpets (historically meaning rugs or, less often, heavy outer blankets, not just carpet like the modern stretched kind stapled to the floor.)

The ideal fiber for an item that is going to be put on the floor and walked on needs to be durable and easy to clean, therefore each strand needs to be long, relatively thick (yes, that means coarse,) and not prone to easily felting.

What it DOESN'T need to be is particularly "soft." The long fibers will make a smooth enough surface to not irritate the soles of your feet and you're not generally going to be wearing a rug right against very sensitive skin all day where you can feel the prickly ends. "Carpet wool" breeds, also known as longwool breeds, have wool fibers that perfectly meet those criteria.

A rug made from wool from a hair sheep or some meat sheep that is coarse but also brittle and short is going to wear out and fall apart ao quickly it's not worth the effort to make it. Therefore, despite being coarse and "scratchy," it is NOT CARPET WOOL. Use that for stuffing pillows or compost it for fertilizer.

A fine, soft, Merino rug is also going to be a felted, pilled, worn-out mess in such a short time it's not going to be worth the effort to make. Save that for a beautiful lace scarf that's going to be directly against the skin of your neck all day. Judging by what's best for rugs, Merino is actually the "garbage" wool.

Anyway, humans spent millenia developing different fibers for different applications, and also words mean things and don't mean other things. Can we please stop calling Lincoln or Wensleydale wool "garbage" because it makes scratchy socks and can we also stop calling Katahdin or Dorper hair "carpet wool" please.

Also, the sheep that grow the wool are absolutely rocking the look.

A fiberist who causally dismisses any breed for its inherent genetic qualities is an indication of inexperience. A novice doesn't have enough data to make an acurate judgment on anything other than their preference. Which, we all have preferences, but being enthusiastically loud about our preferences doesn't make us right.

In a culture fixated on the seductive qualities of soft, our western idiom has been coddled into the false equation of soft=best leading to the unsustainable environment nightmare of microfibers. The first fail in that soft equation comes from comparing hand spun yarns with commercial yarns. The loud opinions tend to get ramped up here, especially when an novice hasn't reconciled the equation:

[Great Yarn = (characteristics of breed or breed blend + preparation method) ÷ spinning technique (± ply)] all influenced by fabrication method of the final project.

Now that☝️equation gets shit done!

Because even though wool is a multifaceted fiber -

It isn't a one-size-fits-all fiber. it's a spectrum of fiber solutions to a variety of situations & needs, producing both textile & non-textile uses

Yes - carpets & rugs are one of those needful situations that specific wools fulfill. However, the same breeds used reliably for industry also have functions in garments & home decor not associated with feet. And, to the experienced fiberist: you don't dismiss wool for not being softy-soft

✨️Fiber✨️ Bruja✨️

As part of a rare breed study, I had the opportunity to spin an Old-World UK Herdwick.

The fleece was the same color of the stones in its native range. It was coarse, full of hair, & kemp. It was tough. The twisted single cut a groove my flyer's wood. The staple was 3-4" (7.5-10 cm) & it held twist perfectly even when spun super-fine.

Plied back upon itself it made a stable 2-ply lace weight.

Despite it being from one of the cutest sheep to grace the hard-knock fells - it was a beast of a fleece.

Our Guild chairperson called the rolags “Godzilla’s pubes” - and he wasn't wrong. It was akin to a natural steel wool pad.

Together, our Guild tried every preparation we knew.

We de-haired, hand carded, drum carded, hackled, & combed. Spun on wheels & hand spindles making singles, & multiple plies. The yarn was crocheted, knitted woven, needle felted, needle punched, & even used in nalbinding. It was deemed filler wool - not even worthy of rug making but the fleece was far to clean to compost.

And - alas - with the same fiber someone spun their sample as cobweb weight and made a square shawl/lap cover - maybe 40" by 40" (a meter square ). Because of the fibre characteristics it held its structure in an open lace that was beautiful. The charcoal gray was stunning - it caught the light here and there where the lighter shades of kemp and hair reflected. It was a most beautiful piece of work

And it is not soft. But it is very lightweight & warm.

And that combination is hard to find in commercial yarns.

The variety of textures in the fiber category of Wools is astounding. There just might be a wool for every need:

Cormo for baby layettes.

Alpaca for the cowl around your neck.

Merino for the colorwork sweater pattern from Ravelry

Shetland for mittens and hats.

Wensleydale socks that will wear well in boots and keep your feet warm.

Lincoln Long wool that - if spun as lace weight or cobweb will make an heirloom lace baby blanket -

Or Herdwick . . . to make a lap warmer for someone whose circulation can't stand the weight of more than a sheet but still needs to stay warm.

All of these could be carpet wool - the last three being far superior & more durable to the task than the others - but they can also be much more.

Did this bouncer like, bring this person home, put them to bed, start the laundry, and then sit down to make a little Drunk Guest zine? Does he do this regularly so he had a template ready? Is that cool or a little weird? Was he attracted to his guest and hoping to make a great first impression? Was he just super anxious that they weren't waking up before he'd have to leave for presumably his day job, so he poured it all into this little gem the following morning? Is his day job in typesetting?