the word witch

Unreliable everyone

Actually, they do. They're assholes.

I’m just an easy mark for dumb pilot humor. Today the captain was like “we’re now at altitude, feel free to move around, my one rule is you must stay inside the plane” and I lost it. It’s funny because you would die a horrible death akin to standing unencumbered on Pluto

i just apolitically killed the king like i have no agenda or whatever im just the jester here but i stabbed him anyway LOL all the courtiers and advisors are trying really hard to figure out who did it LOL all of them wanted him dead but they dont know whose scheme it was so nobody can promulgate a coherent political maneuver based on the circumstances LOL just playing my lute #MyLute

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

there are simply no words in the english language that can describe starting on thursday the fourth. thats how iconic it is

choosing to start on friday the fifth. i just think its very inspiring

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

also, dont't have sex-that-could-lead-to-pregnancy with someone unless you're reasonably certain they would handle an unplanned pregnancy in a way you can live with, and don't breed-on-purpose (or co-adopt) with someone unless you think they'd be willing and able to cooperate as both a visiting, child-support-paying noncustodial-parent of a child you are single-parenting AND as a loving, capable single-parent to YOUR child that doesn't live with you.

NO ONE GETS THEIR ASS BEAT IN A POLL LIKE GASTON

He's especially good at self-defenestrating.

Fuuuck I just loss 20000 dollars in adverisement revenue and potential sales when that guy over there didn’t look at my flyer because he was talking to the girl he was walking with. The sensible option here is to ban talking while walking since it’s literally theft.

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

ultimately the best way to prevent abuse is to organize society in such a way that everyone's needs are met wothout having to rely on a parent or employer or boyfriend or any one individual. obviously wont stop, like, manipulation or so on, but the ability to dangle basic needs over someone's head is one of the most powerful and consistant tools of abuse out there. if someone is able to just leave, and know that they will have access to food and shelter and clean water and education, that will enable so, so mamy victims of abuse to do just that.

really funny how like 10% of the comments are people going "nuh uh" and the remaining 90% are people going "this is literally whats happening to me/my mom/etc Right Now"

my hands hurt