The Gender Fluid Valkyrie

What st elmo’s fire actually is:

What my mind thought of:

BREAK THE POST

the elusive 10 million note post

His parents began to yell and scream. “Where did you get that car?”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” Demanded his parents. “We know how much a Porsche costs!”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

The parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like this for fifteen dollars!?” They asked.

“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy, “don’t know her name— they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”

“Oh my goodness!” Gasped the mother, “she must be a child abuser! Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”

So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in her yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy she sold the Porsche to for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why.

*one second later*

but idk

this is alexandrias melon (wow)

it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)

it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds

it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.

This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.

The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.

It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.

Patrickmelon

This is the evermelon.

If you haven’t seen this story, look up his name: Francisco Galicia. 

Galicia says he lost 26 pounds during that time in a South Texas immigrant detention center because officers didn’t provide him with enough food.

He said he wasn’t allowed to shower and his skin was dry and dirty.

He and 60 other men were crammed into an overcrowded holding area where they slept on the floor and were given only aluminum-foil blankets, he said. Some men had to sleep on the restroom area floor.

Ticks bit some of the men and some were very sick, Galicia said. But many were afraid to ask to go to the doctor because CBP officers told them their stay would start over if they did, he said.

I would remind you that concentration camps are actually real. 

“I told them we had rights and asked to make a phone call. But they told us, ‘You don’t have rights to anything’,” Francisco Galicia said.

did they pay really well? did you want these beautiful, terrible movies to be a blemish on your career forever?? why

 antonio banderas did so many high-profile movies then in spy kids he looked like this

tony shalhoub has won multiple emmys but he did spy kids and

even fucking george clooney wtf

steve buscemi is pretty goofy but still

salma hayek’s pigtails in this wow 

elijah wood was the lead in a movie that’s tied for the largest number of oscars of all time and he played a character creatively named “THE GUY”

sylvester stallone is like a cultural icon and he played not one but FOUR ridiculously dressed weirdos

alan cumming is the only one i can understand 

“The first step in changing anything is getting people to care.” -Misha

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One time I was at the store when another dmab child started following mine around. The family of that kid thought it was the cutest thing they had ever seen. They laughed, “look, he’s following that little girl around!” I smiled politely and kept shopping

They didn’t go away, however. They kept following us. My child didn’t really understand what was going on, and they kept saying things like, “look, he has a crush on the little girl!” I don’t know how long this went on, but it got really weird. Finally, I turned and said, “actually, he’s a boy.”

They disappeared. Not another word was spoken. I don’t think they even acknowledged what I said beyond a shocked “oh”. Suddenly, it wasn’t cute. Suddenly, it wasn’t Innocent. Suddenly, their boy didn’t have a crush on my boy, like they had insisted before.

John: Okey, tell me everything that happened.

Sam: It is really long story.

John: I’ve got time.

Sam and Dean: *tell all story*

John: So… You were fucking demon. And then…you… became one? What else? You’re friends with some vampires, werewolfs or other shit?

Sam: Actually, there is that one guy named Garth…

Dean: And I had Benny…

John: At least here in a bunker are just normal humans.

Dean: They are not here right now, but we don’t live alone

John: Oh God…

Sam: No, not him. He left. But he really makes amazing pancakes.

Dean: And got hot sister.

Sam: Dean, don’t pretend…

John: Don’t pretend what?

Dean: Well, we live here with my boyfriend Castiel. He is an angel.

Sam: Yeah, and we kinda adopted and raise together the nephilim, Jack.

John: Nephilim? You mean human-angel son?

Dean: Don’t look at me. He’s Lucifer’s.

John: Awesome, maybe now tell me Satan himself was here too!

Sam: He was.

Dean: In Cas. And in Sam.

John: In Sam, of course. Who else?

Dean: In Sam? I’m not sure about Gabriel.

Sam: Shut up.

John: Gabriel? The archangel?

Dean: One and only. But he was also banging Rowena here in a library. Before you ask, Rowena is a witch. And mother of Crowley, King of Hell.

Sam: Who was your bestie.

Dean: Now you shut up.

John: You know what? Screw it. I’ve got another son.