my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit

[bird consoling his other bird friend] yeah don't worry man that guy can't kill both of us. he only has one stone

still living with my parents as an adult is just like. i'm grateful to not have to pay for groceries. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to have a roof over my head and not have to pay rent. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to not have to worry about sending out endless job applications that all lead to nowhere. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful i'm grateful i'm so fucking grateful. i have to get out of here

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

I’ve had tumblr for 4 years but some of you bitches have had it for a decade. It’s time to seek penance

wait I’m curious now . Reblog this with how long u’ve been on tumblr for. Dating back to ur oldest blog ever !!!

I’ve seen this on my dash at least ten times now and somehow every single time I am once again unprepared for how the cat looks.

The Creature never fails to make me laugh.

They should let you vomit a black sludge and when you are done you feel better about yourself. Also the black sludge forms into an evil clone you can make out with.

you really think someone would do that? just go on the internet and tell lies?

Who da fucky wucky awe yoo OwO