my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying āthatās illegal people canāt do thatā and I find that so fucking funny
For context
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@soponyz
my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying āthatās illegal people canāt do thatā and I find that so fucking funny
For context

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We are receiving unconfirmed reports that it is bedtime. Citizens are advised to get into their pajamas and remain on high alert
This is.... Absurdly cute. What the fuck.
It's worth noting that the reason the beaver wants the water to be deeper in the first place is that the Beaver is using the deep water as a pantry:
All summer and fall, beavers gather up branches with the leaves they actually eat, and store it in the deep end of the Pond, where the cold water and limited oxygen keep the leaves fresh all winter, so when it's negative 20 outside, a beaver can take a dip out of it's lodge, grab some refrigerated leaves in the (relatively) warmer water and go back to it's cozy little nap hole while everything else is out there suffering and eating bark or the like.
So it's less "there's a leak in my house" and more "OH SHIT THE FRIDGE!!"
Sorry we're cancelling your flight because the plane is not feeling well

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my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying āthatās illegal people canāt do thatā and I find that so fucking funny
For context
i am a lover. but underneath that i'm a hater. and then underneath that i'm a lover again
What if there was a immature young man who worked as a cook in a fast food restaurant and could not get a driverās license despite his best efforts? Now imagine he is a sponge.
me when I "mysteriously" feel better after I "have something to eat"

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Doctor said I only have to do four hours of therapy a week instead of seven. I am the pina colada of mental health.
I meant to say āpinnacleā, not āpina coladaā. The telephone is a cruel mistress. I am so healthy, still.
This tweet has changed my life btw
Hereās a guide of what Iāve determined the meanings to be
walking around - self explanatory
fellowship - hanging out with friends
deliciousness - having something tasty
transcendence - feeling that you have reached a different level of some sort; alternatively, when you do one of the other delights to the extreme and feel really good about it. (you know transcendence when it happens)
goofing - having a good laugh at smth
amelioration - working towards the betterment of something, for example, working on a skill you hope to improve
coitus - fuckinā
enthralment - becoming incredibly engaged in something, hyper focusing on something
wildcard - anything that you feel was a delight in your day that does not fit one of the above delights
I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.
chasing that rat poison high....
im immune to it cause im not a rat
thank you for getting me to read the funniest sentence upon earth
[video by soupygarbagejuice. original caption: stuie]
āI guess I would scream too if I knew a God could hear meā is too much of a raw line to come from a tik tok about a cat
the best part is the line isĀ āi guess i would scream too-ieā

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im bored who wants to play chess with me
um⦠i made all of them horsies bc thatās my favorite. sorry
oh i donāt mind at all in fact my horsey is coming to greet yours right now :)
omg hiiiiiiiiiiiii :3
who cares if tjis is against the rulesā¦.. who am i to stop my horsey from saying hello to yours
doctors be like "we have no idea what causes this extremely mysterious illness" and the illness affects 1 in 8 women