sweeties

You know that thing where a story is written in tight third person limited — we’re meant to be inside someone’s head, seeing the world through their thoughts — and then suddenly the narration says “the blond frowned” or “the shorter woman sighed” about a person the POV character knows really well?

That’s called antonomasia — using a descriptive label instead of a name. And it’s fine when we’re talking about strangers: “the cashier handed her the receipt,” “the tall guy blocked the door.” The POV character doesn’t know their names, and we just need a quick way to tell people apart.

But the moment it’s used for someone the POV character already knows, it breaks immersion. Because that’s not how our minds work. We don’t think “the older man smiled at me.” We think “Mark smiled.” Or maybe “my boss” if that relationship matters in the moment.

Third person limited means the narration sits inside someone’s perception. Their inner monologue is the story’s voice. So when you switch from “Mark smiled” to “the blond smiled,” you’ve pulled the camera away from their mind and turned it into an outside shot.

If you want to create distance or irritation, you can do it on purpose —

“The idiot from accounting emailed again.”

That’s character voice. That’s judgment. That works.

But otherwise?

As soon as your POV character knows someone’s name, use it. While we do tend to worry about repetitions, names rarely register as such to the readers.

If you need variety for rhythm, use relational or emotional identifiers that make sense in their head: her friend, his partner, their teacher, the person they loved.

Because inside someone’s thoughts, there are no “blonds” or “brunettes.”

it’s probably worth noting that for all of the right-wing narrative around Minneapolis being unsafe, there has only been *one* homicide in the city so far this year.

Renee Good was a queer white woman, a mother and a wife. She was a US citizen. But too many stories are making sure to include the details of her citizenship first and foremost, even before her name,as if it makes a difference, as if it would have been more understandable or more acceptable if the woman that ICE murdered was an immigrant, documented or otherwise. As if her citizenship should provoke us to a higher level of outrage. 

Of course it makes absolutely no difference whatsoever.

When you talk about the death of Renee Good, talk about her by her name. Talk about her courage in being a bystander interventionist and observer of the lawless behavior of the armed agents engaging in an ethnic cleansing campaign in our country. Talk about her family that is left behind after this wanton act of murder. Talk about her as a role model and inspiration for all of us.