welcome to my stupid zone

*walks through a bead curtain*

T shirt that says “I ❤️ getting laid” & then on the back it says “to REST” with a photo of a coffin + the name & phone number for a local cemetery. Please follow for more advertising ideas

100 dracula sit-ups, hold franeksntein pose for 10 minutes, 150 mummy swipes, 20 wolfman chest releases,

I’ve been watching so many old garbage movies recently that I’ve started to have like 60s sci fi themed nightmares where I’m being attacked by like horrible ape monsters and it’s actually scary as fuck! What an awful problem to have

Last night I had a dream about a terrible science experiment called Moon 13 that involved putting scantily clad women inside of large lava lamps to harness their innate psychic ability. I wish this was a joke

me after making horrible posts all day: who wants me 😏

Did you know that if something causes you discomfort that does not mean the thing is bad

Having to clean the shower is so fucking annoying. It’s clean in there. That’s where I go to get clean. It’s clean dude trust me. Stop fucking growing bacteria and stuff man this is the clean locale. You’re embarrassing me in front of the sink

It's okay if you're 22 and still sleep with a stuffed animal it's called having the cuddlers spirit and it's actually what gets you into heaven

A crucial part of the bookstore experience is saying hi to all the books you’ve already read

the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history

the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts