Drafting Board

Anyway, in the glass museum, one of the displays was a feast table set with the absolute classics, hits and highlights of finnish glassware designs - the absolutely fanciest plates and serving dishes, wine glasses and water glasses, carafes and pitchers. I could pretty confidently say that the entire presentation, if sold item-for-item, cost more than my first car. Perhaps twice as much, easy. An unfathomably expensive, fancy, finest table set of finnish design that you and I are too poor to ever get our hands on.

And on one of the plates was a dead fly.

And I had never seen anything funnier in my life. All these fine dishes and plates all empty, and on just one plate at the end of the table was a dead fly chilling on its back like that was the whole feast. The main course. One single dead fly. A human could not have thought of anything more absurdly funny than the specific location that one random fly had died out of pure happenstance. I fought myself so hard to keep my volume to museum-acceptable levels that instead of laughing out loud I went straight into hysterical gasping with tears in my eyes. I could not perfectly recreate the image from memory, but I can't let you go before I try to sketch it nonetheless:

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

So I got curious, and I did some research, and apparently, the poet was Su Dongpo, also known as Su Shi (8 January 1037 – 24 August 1101), and he wasn’t just a poet - he was a writer, poet, painter, calligrapher, pharmacologist, gastronome, and a statesman of the Song dynasty.

That particular event happened while he was assigned to an official post at Guazhuo, and the “friend who lived across the lake” was actually Chan master Foyin, who was the master of a temple on the mountain on the opposite shore.

A translation of the poem Su Dongpo sent to master Foyin:

“Bowing with my highest respect To the deva of devas Whose fine light illuminates the whole universe, The eight winds cannot move me, For I am sitting upright on the golden purple lotus blossom.”

(via bsky)

In case anyone hasn't heard, the cyclospora outbreak affecting tons of people in the US right now is coming from Taylor Farms produce. Best to stay away from bagged lettuce and prepared salads completely right now, but especially the ones mentioned in the screenshot:

Taylor Farms Earthbound Farms Little Salad Bar (Aldi) Marketside (Walmart) Kroger House Brand Target private label greens Costco salads and greens etc Trader Joe's chopped salad kits and fresh produce Fast food: McDonalds, Taco Bell, (Yum! Brands), Chipotle, Subway, Pizza Hut, KFC, Olive Garden, Top Golf, Red Lobster, Burger King, etc.

This is not the first time I've heard about a Taylor Farms foodborne illness outbreak. I stopped eating their salads after reading a description of the conditions in their facilities. Doesn't sound like they've improved anything.

TAYLOR FARMS WAS OUR BIGGEST CUSTOMER

(By like...a lot. Probably 85% of the jobs I ran were Taylor Farms.)

Outbreak is considered to have started 1 May, I was laid off on the 27th. That would do it.

HEB-branded greens also come from Taylor. Simple Truth Organic is also a Taylor brand sold exclusively through the Kroger conglomerate.

question one: based on your answers so far, we believe the nature of your haunting is demonic. please select the image that best resembles the entity. the person has selected a humanoid figure with big horns.

question two: please select the level of activity exhibited by the entity. the options are benign, destructive, and aggressive. destructive is selected. the person crouches out from the shadows to glare at the huge dark looming horned figure in his kitchen. the creature has glowing red eyes. it is ripping packages of food up and dropping it on the floor and staring at the person’s cat.

I think about this tweet all the time because they would've been SO powerful...

Like Brendan IS the lovable "oaf" superhero, and Sandra IS the no-nonsense, competitive journalist. The VISION:

ECHO | 1X03: TUKLO