We're All Mad Here...

just imagining Sarah freaking the fuck out, taking the extremely limited amount of time she knows she has left to load up her confused daughter with all of the iron jewellery she never usually takes off, peppering her with instructions not to eat ANY of the food and vague warnings about illusions in the walls

and then suddenly before she knows it her mother is just gone, and she's being told by a strange glittery man that she must begin her own journey through the Labyrinth to find her mother

the funniest part however would be Jareth finishing his spiel to the daughter and returning to his castle to properly greet his new hostage with no fucking clue who he just snatched, and finds to his surprise and horror a Too Old For This Shit Sarah absolutely rampaging through the halls threatening to tear down his entire world all over again if he doesn't take her back to her daughter right the fuck now

"Edalyn! You made it! I know I didn't have enough time to explain-"

"Mother. I prefer 'Ed.' And you had all of my life to explain!"

"If I Might Have A Word-"

So ok look. The point is not the flared leg by itself. These cannot be yoga pants. These are, and you have to understand this if you are too young to have worn them, BLUE JEANS. And this was the last years before all jeans were 70% spandex.

They were denim, and they weren't bell bottoms. They hung loose from the knee in a way that would make a wizard envious. We all walked around like we were wearing hakama. And they dragged on the ground. That was important. Ragged cuffs. If your jeans weren't so long that they had ratty cuffs, they were embarrassingly short.

And the thing about denim is that it's a twill weave and it's cotton. So not only does it hold a lot of water, it wicks. Walking around in these suckers on a wet day could get you wet to the knees even if you never stepped in a puddle.

Then you'd go inside and take off your shoes and try to avoid letting your freezing, wet, filthy pant legs touch your skin.

Oh, this has nothing to do with you being a woman. I like women. I just have a little problem with scientists.