Jocularity, jocularity!

why are art museums the only museums with cafeterias? imagine if you just got done walking through a civil war museum and there was a place offering hardtack and soup beans and really bad coffee based on the rations of a union soldier

its cool that sometimes people try to have one kid and accidentally have two kids. flavorful. more things should work like that. get married and suddenly there's a second wife. pass the interview and end up with two jobs. etc. keep em guessing

have fun fetishizing the shit out of *real life* celebrities. it actually makes the people who sexualize the shit out of children’s cartoons seem normal.

did you just imply being attracted to actual real human males isn’t normal but wanting to fuck cartoon horses is

I need to reblog this again because it still makes me laugh

i hear Hawkeye w/o looking up at the screen and i can diagnose the exact face he made when he said that line

Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.

when you get assigned to the 4077th and you cant decide if you want to fuck the closeted lesbian, the married gay-in-denial with the gayest moustache anyones ever seen, the other married man who is the straighest person ever, the divorced lebanese dude with impeccable taste in womens clothing, the sexy priest who you cant even hold hands with, the rich man who nerfed himself with his shitty hairstyle, or the most insufferable openly bisexual dude with a pregnancy kink

Honestly if you say or do something strange, an employee probably WILL tell all their coworkers about it all day, however they’ll basically never remember it was you specifically and instead just a faceless “customer” amalgamation of every time someone said something to them. Plus you’re giving them enrichment and something to mutually bond over. So really you’re doing an important service by being a little awkward.

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors