you fucking wish you were me

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

i thlammed my puthy in the car door

Excuse me heroin addicted teenage Walmart employee can you unlock the cabinet full of things to put up my ass please

Yeah I was hoping to need to have it rescanned by one of your other employees at the self checkout as well as having it visually inspected by the elderly receipt cop as well

You can lie when you name things

Driving without a drink gorgeous?

bro didn't even consider that he can be a cute little dolly with a pretty dress and a big beautiful ribbon.

I hope something cool dope or legendary happens to me soon

something stupid this way sucks

just got an ad for a game where the girl was aiming a rifle and using a mans ass crack as a stand. nobel prize for feminism?

no, YOU have to do it scared. IM going to fruitlessly wait for the perfect moment forever