My Anxiety Talks More Than I Do

eating ice cream to celebrate my undying liturgical covenant with Gd

When I was really little I asked my dad why we don’t celebrate Easter and he said it’s because we’re Jewish but I didn’t know Easter was a religious holiday so I just thought the Easter bunny was antisemitic

Shavuot being a holiday where we traditionally eat tons of dairy, and ask ourselves questions like, "whose idea was this we're all lactose intolerant" and also being a celebration of Ruth, who converted, and many converts not being cursed with inherited lactose intolerance.

I love dressing the Torah. I need one of those little 2000s-era doll dress-up games but it's dressing a Torah scroll

Queen

Give her her own tv show

Once upon a time there was a girl whose wicked stepmother forced her to clean the entire house for Pesach all by herself. So while her stepmother and stepsisters left early for the grand seder at the Prince's palace, the girl spent the afternoon sweeping and dusting and washing and polishing. As she finally burned the last crumbs of chametz in the fireplace, she saw the sun setting and knew she would never make it to the Prince's seder on time, so she began to prepare her own meager dinner: a little Passover pizza. But miraculously, her fairy godmother appeared and transformed the pizza into a flying carpet to take her to the palace, and the cheese into a beautiful dress for her to wear. And to commemorate this story, to this very day, that cheese is named after that girl: they called her Matzah-rella.

happy one year to what i thought would be a 2 note flop and ended up as my most popular post! chag pesach sameach

"Kill them with kindness" wrong. 10 PLAGUES OF EGYPT!🩸🩸🩸🐸🐸🐸🪰🪰🪰🐅🐅🐅🐂🐂🐂🥵🥵🥵⛈️⛈️⛈️ 🦗🦗🦗 🌑🌑🌑🪦🪦🪦

🍷🥄🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🍽️