my soul would sing of metamorphoses

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

i love sleeping i love being unconscious

Did you ever just feel so lucky for knowing someone you met online? Like.. I was one click away from not following you. I was one second away from never even knowing of your existence.I would never have been this happy!!!...

everyone on this website except me needs to shut up

everyone on this website except me and this swag ass lizard needs to shut up

my most lukewarm take is that I don't think there should be any exemptions for vaccines, etc., beyond documented legit adverse medical shit that makes it physically impossible. like they should be free and required and nobody should be allowed to just choose to leave their child and any immunocompromised person they interact with vulnerable to potentially deadly but entirely preventable diseases and other medical conditions.

my lukewarm addition to this is that i think refusing your child vaccines is child abuse, just like refusing to feed them

Write that one-shot. Those 3 chapters will be the best 10 chapters you ever wrote

there’s just always something fucking happening

i have wild sentences roaming through me at all times

I’m just an easy mark for dumb pilot humor. Today the captain was like “we’re now at altitude, feel free to move around, my one rule is you must stay inside the plane” and I lost it. It’s funny because you would die a horrible death akin to standing unencumbered on Pluto

americans be like dude learning to drive isnt that bad but they dont know youre in ireland sharing a lane with a horse who is a bad person. And the horse and the instructor are friends and he keeps dapping the horse up through the window. And the horse called you a bitch under his breath so quiet the driving instructor is trying to convince you that you must have misheard him but you didnt. and theres a roundabout coming up and the horse didnt indicate