i dunno either

love the phrase 'methinks'. me does think. thinketh me do.

also in all the coverage of the cop shooting that poor baby i’ve seen it mentioned a dozen times that the mother was accused of shoplifting but only one mention of the fact that she had a receipt for the diapers she allegedly stole

i just saw an article referring to this baby as a “juvenile child” which makes him sound like a teenager fleeing the scene of a theft and not a literal ONE YEAR OLD

let's all go out and buy pink refreshing citrusy fruity sexually arousing drinks

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

what we really need is a male moanliness epidemic am i right folks

[image description: Miss Piggy: [Kermit] is shy and deeply sensitive. Frogs are like that... In public, he doth protest, but in private there's really no protestation. It's joy, unbridled joy. /end description]

[text: Your brother got bit by a spider and he says it is changing his personality making him more annoying. His words /end text]

I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said “Why are you a security guard? Why aren’t you teaching this at some college somewhere?” And I didn’t know what to say so I went with “Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist”

I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue

#capitalism brain tells you that anyone interesting must fight to the top of their interest#and precludes the possibility of everyone everyone everyone already being interesting

Like to charge, reblog to cast?