i dunno either

“why’s he whimpering like that” do you ask why the sun shines? why birds sing? why you can simply pick a grape off of a vine and eat it?

Writing more weird fiction will fix me

ashes to ashes, dust to dust, reeses to pieces

And sluts to sluts.

amen

Normalize leaving unhinged comments on ao3 fics you like. I'm tired of being the only one brave enough to write "I am chewing on this fic" in the comment section. Be weird. Authors will love you for it

If I didn't want readers to chew on it, I wouldn't have spent all that time on the mouthfeel

never kill yourself. you have to fill your mutuals dash with shit they don't care about forever, okay?

they should have made another search engine called Ask Wooster where it gives you the wrong answer every time

Well not exactly the wrong answer, just a jaunty, hopeful and well-intentioned answer that offers a pleasant journey but takes you in the wrong direction

i back into parking spots because i like to leave. i love leaving. i don’t ever think twice about leaving. you can see it in my parking philosophy that i love to leave

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

my conspiracy theory is that rupaul named her movie stop that train so it would be harder to google the time she tried to beat the transphobia allegations by posting the trans flag but she accidentally googled train flag instead